beekeeness

of last posts and returns.

2007-04-19T16:22:00.000+08:00

First time to make a last post.

It has been a great 8 months. I have met new people, forgotten about them, and they have forgotten about me. =)) Sorry if I have forgotten about you. I focused on all the wrong things, and have lost contact with some, or rather, most of you. HAHA.

It's hard to find a reason on why I'm leaving.

Uhm wait, lilipat lang pala ako. :)) Drama drama na eh.

So to the people who'd be visiting this in the future, my new home is...

HERE.

talented people are often MISUNDERSTOOD.

by missunderstood, and hello wonderbebbles!!!

byee and see you when i will!

i think i'll be leaving this dump.

2007-04-19T01:39:00.000+08:00

=)) i think i'll be leaving for now. you can read my previous posts, but you can now visit me HERE, too. hahaha. i have yet to announce my transfer.

bakit?

nakakatamad.

of shame and music videos.

2007-04-18T17:30:00.000+08:00

Oh dear, I just re-read my last post and it didn't sound like me. Scary! :)) Anyways, I am loving Taking Back Sunday a great deal this summer. Even if they sounded better in Where You Want To Be, I prefer listening to Louder Now. HAHAHA.

LIAAARR! LIAAAR! If we're keeping score...

I love their vocalist, Adam Lazzara. Really. You should see their music videos. What I love about him the most is that...well, when he sings, he will always have weird expressions on his face...which I can totally relate to, 'cause I do it all the time, when I lip-sync into songs and when I'm trying to annoy my little sister. It proves to be effective. 'Cause in the end of me and Chiara's argument, she sticks her fingers into her nose and she tries to touch me with that finger.

Disgusting, yes. But I live with it. 'Cause sometimes, I do the same to her.

Baboy!

Anyways.

I love the video for Twenty-Twenty Surgery. Lazzara looks smokin'!!! Haha. He should always keep the shades on, though. The music video is some sort of based on the prison concers that Johnny Cash used to do. I forgot what they were called, but can always wikipedia it. I hate Lazzara's nose ring, though. Peace.

Twenty-Twenty Surgery

You gotta love the Lazzara. :)

OH! I ABSOLUTELY adore Liar's music video:
TAKE NOTE OF 1:08-1:10. i love this part.
yes, that's when he pops his collar. :))

Liar (it takes one to know one)

It's absolute genius. :)) Lazzara looks nice in this one too. It's funny, because I viewed it again, and when I was lip-syncing to it, I do the exact faces that Lazzara makes! :)) Soulmates! =p

OH!

Also, you gotta love the Jared. I mean Jared Leto, of 30 seconds to Mars. I just don't say it because he's hot. He can sing too! And their music videos have depth, and most of the time, they're movie like. Here are some vids:

From Yesterday

First American music video to be entirely filmed at China. Beautiful. 7 minutes long, but waiting for it to load is worth the wait. It's complex and puzzling, and that's what's beautiful about it. Also, watch out for the 3 short seconds when Jared shows his knock-out abs. Beautiful, man I must say. I'm disappointed with the show on ETC, Sexiest, for not including him on the top 25. I mean, this man is brooding and sort-of stoic, he oozes sex appeal. Dang. Love love Jared Leto. :)

The Kill

Favorite song from 30 stm. The video's scary. Really scary and creepy. That's why you gotta watch it. Jared Leto looks really hot in this video. The hottest I've seen him so far. I like him this way. Kind of chubby-ish. Haha. The video's also complex and confusing, you have to watch it more than once to understand it. That's why you should love it.

this love is taking its toll on me...

2007-04-15T21:38:00.000+08:00

listening to:
iTunes (as usual) and it's on Party Shuffle. Oh look, it just started playing I Caught Fire! Greaaat.

mood: mood schmood. i'm sad. and melancholic. and a dash of angry on that.

***

warning: sad, sad post ahead. i know i promised myself NOT to talk about this, and to confine these sad stuff on my livejournal alone, which no one knows of. there's no fun in drama when no one gets to read it (ANO?!). i also promised myself not to make these kind of things in case one of my uncles in london read it. pero what can i do, ang swabe ng timing eh. and this is probably the first time i'd be letting "everything" to hang in the clothesline of my blogposts, for everyone to see.

***

I don't know how to start, really. Here goes...

***

OK. here's the thing. i don't know what i want. i don't know if i want to get over someone or if i want him to like me back. first i wanted him to like me back. syempre first instinct ng girls yun. everyone wants to be liked back. and then when i saw the odds of it narrowing, i wanted to get over him.

i don't know if i should tell him how i feel, or leave things as they are.

my heart is absolutely screaming right now, to the point that it's physically evident. my heart is pounding hard right now. my heart is screaming his name, but my mind tries to imprison it with barriers of doubt and fear. doubt that what i feel is truly something worth recoginizing. fear that i might not be able to get on with life. fear of what people will think of me. what he will think of me.

this is stupid. it is. i have said so many times that i shall get over him. pero feeling lang yun eh. feeling. it fades away. easy. i thought a certain new friend i made will make me leave everything behind. ayyayyay. i was wrong, oh how wrong i was, honey. past is past, diba? but why can't i just drop everything and deal with it? things happen, and some things just don't last.

eh tapos i see his picture, and suddenly, everything comes back.

baka nga feeling lang siya. maybe because he looks good in the picture? i'm afraid this thing is just something physical. i'm letting myself become vulnerable because of liking someone because he's goodlooking. pero hindi eh. i look at those eyes that aren't even looking at the camera. the eyes that were facing down... and something tells me that everything isn't as bad. and then the second thoughts i have are pretty-low already. like how would it feel to hug him? or how would it feel just to sit beside him?

[my titos are going to kill me. =)) =))]

and then i was watching little manhattan with my mom and sister...and the main character, Gabe, said something that made me go YEAH! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!! It went something like...

Suddenly, I knew what I had to do. Love isn't about ridiculous little words.
Love is about grand gestures. Love is about airplanes pulling banners over
stadiums, proposals on jumbo-trons, giant words in sky writing. Love is about
going that extra mile even if it hurts, letting it all hang out there. Love is
about finding courage inside of you that you didn't even know was there.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0412922/quotes

rosemary has said she hated him...but that didn't stop gabe from doing it [watch the movie to find out what 'it' is]. love really is going that extra mile, even it hurts...letting all your feelings hang there, known to that someone. love is finding that courage that was hidden.

so what am i waiting for?

rejection? what have i got to lose? it's not like we have had anything, and it's not like i'll be losing anything, right?

what am i waiting for?

rejection? rejection is something not to be afraid of. i used to be afraid of it, but through and through i realized rejection is part of life. that's how it works. if i get rejected, that's when i start getting over him, then i'll ride my gasless car from that road. sounds great.

i guess i'll only get over him when i start getting closure of how things are.

what am i waiting for?

***

that felt good. first time ko maging super honest about this certain topic. first time to be fearless. Xp

i think too much. i think i have a thought coming on. uh-oh.

of bloggers and blogposts.

2007-04-13T23:16:00.000+08:00

Hahah. Ang daya. I was bloghopping just a while ago, and I noticed that more seasoned and much older ladies offer much insight compared to a teen girl's blog.

Just like mine.

You know, they tackle drama in a drama-less way. Like, when they go to this certain place and they actually tell you about it, they don't bore you with insignificant details (like I do) and they always have pictures accompanying it (unlike I do).

Naiinggit ako. Suddenly I want to be more experienced and older and I want to tell you people about it. I want my own camera, and I want to go places with it.

Tama ba yun? Is it right to say that?

Waaah. Naiinggit ako.

***
Anyways. I was Wikipedia-ing (again). I should have believed my Tito when he told me that Wikipedia has everything. Grabe. Wikipedia is addictive. It's got anything and everything. Haha. Others get addicted with Dota and O2jam, I say Wikipedia.

NERD!!!

Haha. Anyways, I was blabbing once again.

So I was Wikipedia-ing Johnny Cash, because Walk the Line was showing in Star Movies. And then in the entry about him, there was a link to Rock n' Roll, so I clicked it too... Which led to the list of the many genres of rock.

Grabe. Ang dami dami pa pala. Twee Pop? Viking metal? Anatolian Rock? Avant-progressive Rock?

MATH METAL?

Huwadaaahecck?

Kaya nga I'm refraining from labeling genres. Ang dami-dami nila! Like kunwari, I say this one band is emo. They say they're not emo, just alternative-rock. Oh dear. Just let people believe what they want to believe! Haha. They're all just the same. Rock. And Roll. HAHAH.

I just realized this when I tried to click the link leading to each genre, trying to classify the bands that I know under each genre. So far, I needn't click the link to each genre, since most of them belong to Alternative Rock anyway. But still, you know. It's fun knowing different rock genres.

Ang labo nga lang talaga. :))

Natatawa lang talaga ako sa mga name. Math Metal? Queercore? Boogaloo? COWPUNK?

WHAAAAT???

Oh, and by the way, I love JOHNNY CASH! :)) Musical discovery. Ching!!!

I love his song, Hurt. Which was covered by Nine Inch Nails. I loved the cover too. But mas gusto ko yung version ni Johnny Cash.

Shame, shame, he died on my birthday, when I finally turned 10. (September 12, 2003)

I didn't watch Walk the Line, though. I dislike movies featuring underdog stories. Which explains the reason why I didn't watch Coach Carter and movies of the same type. With the exception of Dodgeball: a true underdog story...because it really isn't a true underdog story. :)

fast fast update.

2007-04-12T12:14:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Back in Black - AC/DC

Huwaw. Today's training was super tiring. We had drills, and then what else...ahh yes, we had the soccer game. We were divided into two groups... Haha. I was assigned as defense. Defense oh yes. I am bad as a defense. But I promise I'll do better. Natatakot parin ako mang-agaw. Which I am entirely capable of. Natatakot lang ako.

Haha. Hindi ako umitim sa sleeves part, umitim ako dun sa boundary ng legs chaka ng paa, because I was wearing my shoes. Graaabe. :)) I need spikes. Ang sakit sa paa gamitin ng rubber shoes. Oh wait, they weren't even trainers. The shoes I use right now are just for "casual" wear. Pangporma-porma lang raw siya, sabi nung saleslady, when I bought them. Heck, they're adidas shoes anyways, so I guess they'll be matibay.

Woo. I'm looking forward to tomorrow.

On the other hand, I'll be dozing off...because I am TIRED.

And I still have to:

research about the senatorial candidates, do a write-up about them and print them to give to my mom...because she wants to know which senators she should vote.
input the data on the calling cards of my mother. which are A LOT.

ahwell. the things i do for $$$. (they really should put a peso sign)

futbol.

2007-04-11T23:14:00.000+08:00

Started football training yesterday. It was great, though I was intimidated because everybody else was really good. But hey, I didn't feel that nervous. I looked dumb in the field, but it didn't bother me since I'm a newbie, and that's what they expect out of newbies anyway. I hit the ball once and missed it once, since some guy snatched it outta me before i had the chance to control it. Coach was great, and the girls were friendly...and the guys were helpful. :))

Tomorrow, I promise to run after the ball and to kick as many times as I could. Para I wouldn't look dumb naman. Come on.

After football training, I want to atc (as usual) with the girls Angeli & Hazel. Oh wait. Before that we went to the Stomp Dance Studio since the girls wanted to check out the schedule for lessons and how much they were. I am considering to attend jazz dance classes with them, but then again, I have to choose between that, and drums. Hahah. Pretty hard decision to make. Ay no, wait. Hindi din pala. I think I've made a decision.

So anyways, we went to ATC. Ate at KFC, then went Pinoy tripping and watched Ang Cute ng Ina Mo. Corny, but hilarious, really. Unexpectedly, it made me laugh. It was a good movie. Anne Curtis was cool, her fake Oirish/Australian accent was good at first, then was annoying later on. Luis Manzano was so hilarious, oye. Hahah. I love Luis. Xp AiAi was what I expected. It was cool, really. Xp

Oh wait, alam niyo ba, meron na ulit nung limited FIFA edition (tama ba) Havaianas. OMAYGAHHHD. I went hysterical. I want I want I want alll of them. Pati England ulit. Kasi maliit na yung akin. But I am prioritizing Havaianas Germany right now. OYE! =)) Tapos Havaianas Portugal. WAAAH. I need $$$. (walang Peso sign eh.)

On the music side of things, I LOVE JOSH KELLEY! Sunset Lover and Only You are really feel-good songs. While on the other hand To Make You Fell My Love and Everybody Wants You are absolutely tearjerkers albeit the fact that everbody wants you is NOT sad song. :) Hay, I suggest Josh Kelley songs for your summer playlist.

happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

2007-04-10T21:24:00.000+08:00

I know I shouldn't be sad because I'm really have had a good day (except for the part where I lose my wallet)...but really. I started soccer training, but more of that later...probably.

***

It's like everybody loves you and everybody wants you lately...
- Josh Kelley

There's something about this song that makes me want to return everything. Songs, poems and letters burnt in the fire, files wiped out of its existence in this computer. How sad. It makes me want to take back what I have said, to take back what has happened. What I felt, what I wanted.
Oh dear. I see nothing wrong looking back to the past, but I guess something's up when you're obsessing over it.

But really, nothing can help it, right?

Nobody said it was easy, it's just a shame for us to part.
- Coldplay

Desperation is a funny thing. You get too desperate, you get into trouble. Be not desperate about something at all makes you somehow appear as not interested in getting what you want. This might not be the same for other people, but it goes for me.

Desperation is a funny thing. You get too desperate and you don't solve the problem; more often than not you make it worse. Be not so desperate about something and not show interest makes you somehow appear as not interested in getting what you want; oftentimes people don't see you as someone worth helping... More heads, the better. For me, atleast.

Desperation is a funny thing. Sometimes, the puzzle just doesn't fit. There's a missing piece--an extra piece. Then numbers don't make sense. The figures don't look like figures anymore. That's when you get too desperate.

Nobody said it was easy, nobody said it would be this hard.

Baby I'm too lost in you, caught in you, lost in everything about you so deep, I can't sleep, I can't think. I just think about the things that you do.

-Sugababes

Obsession. Everything you get obsessed about gives you trouble. In the end, it all boils down into something: too much is bad. I have gotten obsessed into so many things in the past that when I try to sit down and recount them all, I feel like there's always something I have forgotten. I became obsessed with Harry Potter, Daniel Radcliffe, Hero Angeles (as I have said, I regret. Xp) and so much more things.

Recently, growing into my adolescent years, I have found a new obsession... that I didn't notice was an obsession, until now.

To me, finding someone I love and someone who will love me back is an obsession...and the same goes to some girls my age out there. In the end of the day, I just want to know that someone I love...and loves me back romantically will always be there for me, will have a family with me (oi, in the future, hah), will build a house with me...you know...the same old crappy cinderella fairy tale story. But now not all fairy tales...happen. Maybe it's a self-esteem issue, maybe it's about affirmation, maybe it's about closure that everything will be fine.

Obsession to finding love can be tiring. Love comes, you don't go around looking for it. My mom told me that the love that last, the relationships that last are the ones where things just happen. Chance meetings, knowing each other, building friendships. For someone as young as me, this can be very scary because I am afraid that sometime in the future, I might grow tired of loving. I might grow tired of hoping that someone is not there for me. I am afraid that I will have no one to come to home to. No one living with me in my house. No screaming children, no bossy husband. I am afraid that because of my obsession to finding the perfect one for me, the ideal guy for me, I may not be able to let in the people who should be in my life.

Melancholy. Desperation. Obsession. Very funny things indeed.

inner peace and forgiveness

2007-04-07T21:17:00.000+08:00

My foot is, once again, stinking in my mouth. I feel so guilty and I feel so awful about what I have done to someone, who did nothing wrong to me. Ok nga kami eh. Ako pa gumagawa ng problema... Grabe, I feel so awful talaga.

I want to say sorry to this person. Maybe she doesn't know she's the one I'm talking to... or rather, talking about here. Pero just for the sake of my inner peace, (which does mean a lot to me), I want to say I'm sorry. Ang tanga-tanga ko. I feel like crying right now. I've misjudged her, and have done stupid things behind her back.

Oh dear, my brain is starting to scatter all over the place.

And then I realized, that I'm wasting my time over people who doesn't deserve something as precious as it. I have been a complete and utter fool, if it's any consolation to the people who I have hurted, people who I have bored to death, people who I have forgotten because of them. And maybe, just maybe, they weren't the people I thought they were. I don't know; I am not in the position to pre-judge them at all, since I really don't know who these people are. I cannot fathom what the hell went through my mind. I risked so many things. Friendships, time, ideas, my sanity, even who I am. I just realized awhile ago, that if they can't accept me as I am, the uncoventional, loud, quiet, quirky, queer, crazy, fat, Jollibee-loving, grammar-conscious and the moody person that I am, then I say I'm sorry, 'cause I'll be hardly worth their time...and they'll be hardly worth mine.

I guess it all boils down to a few things. My self-esteem was in a wreck. People have stepped over me and hurt me so much...and yet I didn't care. Oh sure, they might have done it out of something completely unfathomable. But it doesn't matter right now. What they did was wrong, and it will always be. Persons (did I use it right?) who love themselves do not let other people step over them and mistreat them. People who love themselves do not go near people who hurt them. People who love themselves-- supposedly the group of people I belong to. But really, now that I have realized it, I'm wrong. Completely wrong.

And I guess my foot will never end stinking in my mouth, since Virgoans and September babies are known to be impuslive, frustrated and regretful. But never mind. It's for my inner peace anyway.

And maybe they will hate me more. But no one else can hate me as much as I hate myself. So I guess that hardly matters. I'm ready to say sorry to anyone I have wronged. And then I'll be ready to surround myself with people who actually love me. People who love me in real life, and not in my dreams.

xxx

Listening to: (or rather, listened to)
marc cohn - i hope that i don't fall in love with you
forty foot echo - drift
josh kelley - everybody wants you
katy fitzgerald - it doesn't get better than this

^^ all from the Prince & Me 1 soundtrack (yeah, the one that starred Julia Stiles :) )

xxx

P.S. cheers to inner peace and forgiveness! :)
p.p.s/p.s.s. if i have done you wrong, im, tag or comment. and explain how it happened, why it happened. then i shall say sorry.

xxx

names have been changed on purpose for security reasons.

WHAT?!

i am HOME.

2007-04-07T14:13:00.000+08:00

HOME! Finally. This last trip to Batangas was good, really. We didn't sleep on plywood, I shared this itty-bitty bed with my younger sister. I couldn't sleep. I didn't sleep. Until my sister left the bed, and I had the bed all to my self...

I had a nice time. I have thought a lot... Well I always THINK a lot. It just so happened that I thought more of the things that I should have been thinking of. :)

HAHA. Good thing mom brought her laptop and we had this cd full of ripped-off games from Yahoo, Popcap and GameHouse. Hahah. I enjoyed it a lot. I am now, once again, addicted to Hangaroo. And I'm getting the hang of it! (Pardon the pun xP)

Pictures lateerrr.

***

I feel so good right now. :) Leave 'em (or rather, him) alone is now my mantra. =)) I've been pretending for a year or so, and now I'm letting it go. ISN'T IT GREAAAT?

***

I miss the girls. =)) ANGELI, what kind of dream was that!??!?! O_O Hahahahaha.

***

Last na. :) Oohlala. Songs I'm loving right now:

Liar - TBS
Twenty-twenty surgery - TBS
Anything from Maroon 5!!!! (Hahah. All time favorite is Sunday Morning)
Risque - Cute is what we Aim for
Backend - Coheed&Cambria
Curse of Curves - cute is what we aim for

.... at maraming-marami pa! xP i'll be back, i guess. we're going to watch MS. POTTER. [catchy title, i thought it was a spin-off from the harry potter series. ]

I CAN MAKE MY OWN BRUSHES!

2007-04-04T23:12:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAH. I can make my own brushes already! =)) Yeeey!

OK OK. Here's the deal. I'll be accepting requests for blog layouts, friendster layouts, backgrounds, brushes and anything photoshop related [except for multiply, livejournal etc. layouts. xP], i will only accept your requests if:

you give me specifics. images, colors, themes, layout, how you'd want it to look.
you introduce yourself, and we get to know each other better. that way, i'd be more in tune of what you would like, and what you wouldn't like.
"ikaw na bahala sa layout" is NOT allowed.

Tag or comment if you want layout. Ok? =D

holy week.

2007-04-04T20:01:00.000+08:00

I used to dislike Holy Week. We did not have cable back then, until the year 2002? (haha, taga-gubat.), so days went by slowly. Plus, the last holy week trip we took was so bad, I associated it with Holy Week trips. Thus hating it.

And tomorrow, I, together with my mum and my sister will be going to Batangas, Batangas, where our so-called "resthouse" [I never get any rest in there.] is situated...and our relatives too. See, I'm not close with my 'relos over there...and will never be. They're a huge lot, kasi. And I'm quite a shy and reserved person when with people I don't quite identify with. Plus, sleeping there is HORROR, since we have to sleep in plywood. No mattresses, just blankets. It makes me restless. It's hard there. I don't think I have had a trip that I enjoyed there.

I felt so mean saying that. But that is the truth for you, honey.

I will only enjoy trips there if we finally get our own horses. Delightful and brilliant, if that happens. =)

Good thing I have my iPod back (who is also named DeeDee), and my mother is bringing her laptop. These are the times when I DO wish I have my own laptop, and the lastest digicam/videocam out there. Those are the perfect times to take pictures, since it's nature.

***

P.S. Deedee is well. Really well, still fat than my left thumb, but I am using him right now to tap the spacebar

***

P.P.S/P.S.S. I want to go to PUNTA FUEGO so bad. I don't know why. Our last trip there wasn't really eventful, but there's something about that place that makes me want to go back. Come to think of it, not much happened! My mum, uncles and I call it the happy place. Go there and know why. WAAAAAH. If we go there, I promise I'll hit the beach. HAHAHAHA.

***

I still feel awful saying that.

***

I got my card already! Wow, my grades were like...O_O hahaha. They were better than I have expected. Sadly, I have NO CEM results. Maybe they were too high, they had to be framed and put in the hall of fame. KIDDING!!! Well I don't have them, but it doesn't bother me.

advil and icons

2007-04-03T19:07:00.001+08:00

My head hurts. Well, kanina. I took advil already. I feel so grown-up when I do that.

Anyhoo. I woke up at 2 p.m. today. I slept at 2 a.m. Oh dear, I slept for 12 hours! Hahaha. That's why I hate waking up past 11 p.m. I always end up with a headache. Don't ask me why.

Well you can ask me. Oversleeping can make my head hurt bigtime.

I had a dream pa naman. And then I slept again, so I forgot about it. Which is sad. Since the first time I woke up, I was planning to write it down so that I wouldn't forget it. Sadly I was lulled into sleep.

My mom got my card today, she hasn't arrived yet, therfore I have no idea how they [my grades] are. hahaha.

I don't want to think about it. Since it's summer already, so you know. i don't want to bother about it. I don't want to think about those things. Not that my grades are bad, I just don't want to think of them. Period. =))

***

Here are icons I've been making lately. 2 out of 4 were inspired by songs from my playlist. Guess which ones. The last one...I just thought of it. It looks sweet. :P

chobits.

2007-04-03T01:05:00.000+08:00

Hmmm, have I shared to you how much I love anime? Well not all anime, I haven't got Animax in our cable, so what can I say? I get contented with manga and some dvds. So far, these are the anime/manga series that I love/d: Marmalade Boy (Isaiah girls went gaga over that one), Ranma 1/2 (I am a HUGE fan of FUNNY anime.), Tsuyo Kiss (Too bad I didn't get to buy more DVDs. I couldn't find any), Chobits (Thank LORD for YouTube) and Tsubasa Chronicles (a spin-off from Cardcaptor Sakura).

Mmm. I've got a thing for "romance-y", "contemporary-ish" anime. If you get what I mean. I don't like anime about intergalactic stuff. Probably because I haven't tried it. Or anime about...mmm...robots? =))

What's great about anime series is that they're totally unpredictable. You don't know what's gonna happen, how it's going to end. Plus, it remains consistent throughout the series. Unlike local telenovelas, who are only comical and sweet in the beginning, and then they all go so dramatic and sad in the middle and then somehow a mash of the two in the end. That's not how it goes with mangas. Plus, even though the guys aren't real, they're hot. HAHAHAHA. Atleast you don't have to worry if they'd like you back in real life.

I love Chobits right now. It's a story of this persocom (an android which doubles as a personal computer. it can check your e-mail, do navigation and stuff like that. a robot.) that was picked up by this guy, Hideki, off a pile of trash. Hideki is what we would call promdi (promdiprabins). And he is a "ronin", a repeat student. This persocom can only say "chii" and cannot do specific things, unlike normal persocoms....

I could have gone all night, but I couldn't risk myself the trouble. So why don't you go and Wikipedia it. =D

I looove it right now. It's so sweet, and there's this theme...Chii (the persocom) is programmed to find the one and only man for her. The one that she loves. This 'memory of her past' was tapped in while reading this book that Hideki bought for her.

Waaa. I love it. If you're interested, you can always YouTube it.

Ahh well. The wonders of Wikipedia and Youtube.

Here's the first episode to get you going. Watchiiit. It's highly addictive.

Haaay. If only...can get as nice and as SWEET as Hideki. Ahwell. The small kid genius character reminds me of Carlo. =))

oh dear.

2007-04-02T22:34:00.000+08:00

I feel like laughing and then crumbling into our comfortable sofa and cry at the same time. Laughing, because something unexpected happen. Cry, because I'm getting jealous...

of NOTHING. it's irrational
i have no right to.

Well it's either everyone or no one has the right to get jealous. Because...well,say you get jealous of this guy who you have a crush on. They say you absolutely have got no right to do so. Or you say you absolutely have no right to do so. On the other hand, you are together with this guy, and you get jealous with the girls around him. YOU say you have no right to be jealous. So basically, that's the thing. Everyone or no one gets jealous.

I am talking nonsense.

It's like I'm forcing myself to feel jealous. Which is weird. It's hard to explain.

ang bobo ko sa spelling.

2007-04-01T22:12:00.000+08:00

course and coarse.

Did anybody notice? Hahaha.

Anyways.

The new hair...takes some getting used to. It feels so light, and the bangs are giving me a hard time (it's my first time to have bangs.) and now, it doesn't look as good as it did [in the picture]. They're starting to flip out already. And the waviness of my hair is showing in the bangs part already. I would be lying to say that I have got no problem with it, because I am uncomfortable with it.

Pardon me, honey, I'm only a teenager. I do give a damn with what other people say about me. I need affirmation that I look good. So far, the responses have been pretty good.

I do feel insecure, 'cause everywhere I look, the pretty girls are all there, special notice to the long hair, sashaying with their body in their full, shining glory. Dear Lord. Hahahahaha.

But you know what? I was looking at myself in the mirror, and I was like...I look pretty good, if I say so myself, yeah? I mean, yeah, all the wavy, coarse and long hair is gone... But hey, atleast I am clutter free. It's light, and it's PERFECT for the summer. Plus, I don't know anyone else with this haircut. Well maybe I do, they just don't come to mind. I have bangs for the first time, and I do not have to worry if my face would look big if I tie my hair up because: a) it IS big no matter what and b) I don't have any option. I looks stupid if I tie my hair up, unless I do something about it.

***

About the rest of my day.

I bought drumsticks. Well I and my sister bought drumsticks. No, we still don't have a drum set. Those sticks are just an affirmation that I will do it. I mean, the lessons. That's something, for someone like me, who never gets anything done. We're checking out schedules. Ironically, I do not want to attend classes in Yamaha in SM Southmall, (we live near there)...because...

of its location. absence makes the heart grow fonder. get what i mean? because sm is just a stone's throw from our place, there's no 'thrill'.
i feel like doing it somewhere else.
look, i need thrill to get enthusiastic about this, throughout. when i got my piano lessons, i was b o r e d and did not look forward to it. in fact, i wasted money. i missed a LOT of lessons. =))

Cleats and a football nalang, and I'm all set for operation anti summer bummer.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

2007-04-01T01:55:00.000+08:00

happy happy happy birthday!!!

sayo ang pulutan, sa'min ang inuman...!

HAHAHA.

I LOVE YOU ANGELIQUE!

happy birthday!

***

take note. it's 1:56 in the morning, and i remembered you! i love you honey. hahaha. wait i mean it as a friend. eww, i am not her lezzie lover, she's got someone else! hahah!

new hair.

2007-03-31T21:47:00.000+08:00

edit:

Ok, about the haircut.

Since I have been itching to go and have my hair done in the uber-posh Franck Provost salon, my mum decided to let me have my hair done over there as a gift for my good grades and my silver spelling medal. I have been telling her that when I get my haircut there, I want it to be worth the money, since the last time I had my haircut, it wasn't really noticeable.

Initially, I was only supposed to have my haircut.

But then mom's ultra-cool hairdresser Dennis suggested for me to have hot oil. Dear Peter, the hands of the guy who was going to take charge of my hot oil were like making love with my scalp and my back (I mean that in the cleanest way possible). I was like, reading the Philippine Tatler (their magazines are so cool, they're not, like back issues. they even have the latest, uber-thick vogue magazine.kyool!) and then out of the blue he started massaging my scalp. WOAH I was caught in the middle. ANG SARAP.

Since Dennis had a client, he gave me these hairstyle magazines so that I could choose what I want to do with my hair. since my hair wasn't THAT long, I had a hard time. I'm a pretty picky person too, so I only chose ONE out of all the magazines.

Turns out, that's not what he's going to do with my hair.

So I continued reading and he started snipping and snipping, "tusk tusk tusk" the scissors go. When I looked up, I was overcome with awe and shock.

I LOOK EFFING GOOD! =))

Sure, I was overwhelmed with the amount of hair he snipped off me, but hey! I felt the hair that he snipped and it was super course. Plus, super straight hair DOES NOT look good on me. The guy who blow dried my hair, Joel, was asked to blow dry my hair prior to cutting it. After blow drying, I looked at myself. I SHOULD NEVER, EVER GET REBOND. And have my hair in one length. I have a HUGE face...well a ROUND-ISH, SQUARE-ISH face so yeah.

Many snips later...

Voila! Le hair is so short, I think I have the shortest hair among all the girls in our class. But I totally, totally love it. I look so different. And I have bangs. I did not ask for the bangs. But I needed the bangs, since I have a four-finger forehead.

I LOVE MY HAIR. But I look different. BUT I STILL LOVE IT.

***

OH MY F*CKING GOD. Who am I? HAHAHAHAHA.

clarifications about fabrications.

2007-03-30T21:07:00.000+08:00

I am thinking of giving my whole blog a makeover. Not just the background and header, but also my sidebar and stuff like that.
I am thinking palang naman. I'm getting tired of how my blog always looks. That's why I'm searching and researching about colors,patterns and brushes to use. Good music helps while making layouts too. And a vision of what you like.

Wow, I really am going to take soccer training. I can't believe I'm actually doing it. Awhile ago, I was reading about it in Wikipedia. I found out a lot. Especially about the four players: goalie, midfielder, striker and defender. The goalie, obviously defends the goal. The midfielder dispossesses the opponent of the ball and passes it on to the striker. The striker scores goals. The defender...what does the defender do again?

No, don't think I'm a huge football genius 'cause I am not. I forgot the 2 other members awhile ago, (strikers and defender), and I got confused about their roles, so I Wikipedia-d it.

I don't want to be the goalie. The idea of having parts of my body down in the ground is awful. I crave for action and intensity. The goalie gets blamed if he/she lets the ball into the goal. Well not really, that's just how I see it. =)) I mean, sure the three other players get the injuries, but that's ok, 'cause that's what I'm in for. :)

Something is ACTUALLY happening in my life. Because I did this brain analysis test, which says that I am often a frustrated person--always organizing events and ideas but never pushing through with it. I just downloaded [brain analysis thing] it off somewhere. It's so cool, it's like, it gives you a self-evalution.Which is so g*dd*mn true. if I were a huge nerd and friendster would give me more than 2000 characters to describe myself, that's what I would put. But putting it would actually make me vulnerable, thus some people might use the said information to hurt me.

We wouldn't want that, would we?

SOMETHING is actually getting crossed off my to-do list! Next project are the drum lessons, which are on hold, because of my beloved Deedee. But it's ok, I'm using Deedee to tap the spacebar now, which means that it, or he rather, is a lot more better! I'll try to take my pens and sticks and try tapping around things. I can write already, which is a plus.

Haaay nako, do we have to go through this again? Ultimatum: I am not taking drum lessons because of "this certain guy". I do not listen to what I listen because of "this certain guy". Well probably a couple of songs and bands I got from him, but the rest is me. Hey, I did not genuinely like Coheed and Cambria until I heard The Faint of Hearts, which I must say is rather recently. I have had their album for a long time,yes, but I bought it because I heard my friends Princess and Lia talking about it, and I got curious so I got the whole burnt edition. I could not stand listening to it, because the first few songs were rather sad and had this "haunting" feeling about them. But I liked The Suffering and Wake Up.

Too bad I didn't listen to the other songs, because Ten Speed and Once Upon Your Dead Body are totally cool. I appreciated Welcome Home when I saw its video.

I learned about 30 seconds to Mars from ETC, because there were headlines about Jared Leto. Coincidentally I saw their music video in MTV the same night, but since we didn't have Broadband at that time, I was only able to download The Kill. I got From First to Last from someone in Multiply.

And I like Panic! at the Disco, though I don't like the band members, 'cause they wear too much makeup. Makeup only looks good on Jared Leto and the rest of the guys in 3ostm.

I really did learn about Initial D and Jay Chou that way. You all remember how much I loved Matteo Guidicelli, right?!?!?!?

Wait, was I blogging here when I crushed on Matteo?

Whatever. What else? Any clarifications, fabrications, violations?

Do I always have to explain myself?

I'm getting paranoid. Deedee kasi eh.

I think too much, don't i?

He'll never read this anyway. What's the point?

laguna beach.

2007-03-29T22:52:00.000+08:00

I feel really weird right now. Not weird in the crazy,mad,loopy,tipsy kind of way; rather bad,nervous,really weird kind of weird.

It all started when I was reading previous issues of Candy magazines that I have...and then I came across something that someone said...it went something like...

It's scary the way girls stare at you. You can see what they're thinking and how they're feeling.

Guys affirm me here. Is that true? Cause when I used to look at you-know-who it's usually a blank look. It's not even a stare.

But then again, my eyes always betray me.

After that I turned the page into this "Dowsing" Thing. Apparently, you put a pendant of your necklace above the center of this pie,which is divided into 12 slices, each showing an object (note cards, book, coffee cup, ipod, cologne, alphabet stamps, shoes, magic 8 ball, charm necklace, sunglasses, music box...) and then you close your eyes, repeat a relationship question on your mind for several times, and then open it and find out which direction--or slice,rather--your pendant swings the most.

You don't have to find out my question to know why I'm feeling paranoid... The pendant pointed into "shoes" which said:

Sometimes, the best thing to do when you find yourself in a stitch is to
walk away. If your guy is doing you no good, put on your favorite pair of shoes
and take a stroll to some place better. Maybe you're destined to meet a cuter
guy, or maybe it's best you appreciate the single life now.

Uhm, look. It's not as if I have a boyfriend, but you must understand what this means to me. Get over the guy.

Haha. That's easy. Oh yeah. Supposedly, I'm supposed to start a "new" life.

How do I put this to you,honey. It ain't that easy.

I don't know why, 'cause I don't love the guy,and I don't know the person!

And then I watched Laguna Beach (Tessa,the narrator is apparently PART Filipina! Be proud!) and then guys were talking behind their girl's backs. Is that how it goes? I mean, that was kinda mean, saying something and not meaning it. Like what happened,to Alex and Raquel/Rocky. Guys are so different around girls. Does that mean that that's who they really are?

Ahh. Now I know how I feel. I feel anxious, and...oblivious to whatever's going on. Right. Oblivious.

I feel anxious because he's turning into someone I don't know. Anxious because I'm not supposed to meddle with his life, 'cause it's his. I feel so bad because I shouldn't even care after all that has happened. I shouldn't even be writing about it. Anxious, because maybe I didn't know him at all.

It's funny how a silly teen reality MTV show can make you realize--not to mention be paranoid-- about so many things.

By the way, Cami and Kyndra are so mean. I was supposed to like Lexie, until I remembered she was part of Kyndra's clique.

Grabe, I feel so bad about myself. I don't know what to do if I cross paths with this guy,now that I'm pretty darn sure I'm taking the soccer training at San Beda. (Finally, a cross in my to do list--yet,though.) Apparently, Nicole H. considered me into it. I guess I was just waiting for someone to go with me.

See, I'm paranoid again, 'cause he might be thinking that all that I know was researched on the internet...After all,that is what I'm known for (or what I think of myself)--my research capabilities. Dear Lord, give me a break and for once believe that all I know is something I have 'researched' prior to our discussion...if you get what I mean. I tried to find about it before you considered asking me about it.

Just get the point.

i got this icebox where my heart used to be.

2007-03-29T19:36:00.000+08:00

hahahah. I find the song amusing yet annoying and weird at the same time. That's why I like it.

So many things are bugging my mind right now. A few of which are:

my multiply layout
the hits that im getting here
the commetns that im getting here
my layout here
applying as a hostee
guys. particularly you-know-who. i don't even see him and he bugs the heck outta me. oh wait. i saw him pala. but you know what i mean.
if i should take soccer summer training in san beda.
things i want to have
losing weight
eating
deedee

Those are just a slice from the whole pie of thoughts that are bothering me.

Oh wait, I forgot:

my sister

Who's asking me to get out now. Be back when something juicy hits me. :)

my thumb now has a name.

2007-03-26T18:05:00.000+08:00

Since my thumb is quite special to me already I have given it a name:

Deedee

That's its real name. It has a nickname too,which I can never share publicly. HAHAH.

Anyways, to those whose imaginations are on hiatus due to the end of classes, here are pictures of my thumb.

And to those who want to see how it looks.

*note: THESE ARE NOT BEAUTIFUL. not for the faint-hearted. absolutely ugly. if you're up to it,though, scroll down.

Some before and after pictures. Well,not really. I also took a picture of my left thumb so that you would see the difference.

It was too awful not to share it with you. Deedee and I are having fun bumming around. =)) Look,ma, my thumb has gotten fatter!!!

May these pictures serve as warning to you all that you must never FORGET any finger inside the car. On the same note, do NOT slam the car door.

Deedee has a bad sideview angle. He looks fat sideways. He looks better full-frontal...though you still can't hide his chubbiness.

Don't you think so?

How has my hand gotten from beautiful to horrific??

view from the top

2007-03-26T00:12:00.000+08:00

Okay, so Mom and I are OK. She heard me crying last night,due to the pain and discomfort brought about by my throbbing, blackish-purple (as franklin would put it) thumb. Damnit! I was tossing and turning. I even tried sleeping in the sala. I only slept when my mom held my hand.

Aww.

Haha. Today went well, 'cause everyone was nicer to me. *evil snicker* It gives me an excuse not to do things. Believe me, there are more things not-do-able besides not being able to tap the space bar with much ease.

Hard time texting.
Hard time controlling the remote.
Can't pull down pants/undies/shorts when changing
Can't write
Can't hold eating utensils properly
Hard time using iPod
No one can have contact with my thumb
Can't bite my thumb (not the nail.the THUMB itself.it's a bad habit.)
I always have to put my thumb upright. I can't bend it, can't put it down or it throbs.
Hard time taking a bath.
Hard time tying my hair.
Hard time brushing hair.

Basically,it's either I have to use my left hand, or my forefinger for things. Some things are just done better by the thumb, honey. It's like I'm campaigning or something, 'cause I have my thumb up at all times. And I mean upright.

Anyways, I've been to ATC for three straight days. Today, Yesterday and the Other Day. I've got pretty good excuses for them.

I was in town last Friday because my mother asked me to chaperone my sister and her friends.

I was in town last Saturday because we're short on time and we've got nowhere to go.

I was in town Today because I was supposed to meet my dad.

See?

I saw someone (you HAVE to know WHO i mean) in ATC today. Damn. I thought I was gonna melt or something. I was shaking so bad someone thought I was having convulsions. I had the urge to go down and stalk them. But that would be stupid. I saw him from the top floor. He was going down with..well... =)) Wow. Honestly...man, thinking about him with the view from the top shivers me timbers. Brrrr.

After that eventful event, I was out of my mind.

Like what happened...when I tried to go inside this car that wasn't ours. Yeah. Dumbly, I just went directly into this BMW, not looking at it, and reached for the door handle, until my mom and my sister suddenly looked at me.

Good thing I did NOT PULL on the door handle,or the alarm might have gotten off.

Imagine the horror.

Anyways, have you tried eating at CAFE BRETON? It's in Westgate. Trust me, they give a new meaning to Crepes.

Oh hell, my thumb might as well have its own life. It can throb all on its own and I could not care less. Throb away, you foolish fool. If my finger grew bigger each time it throbber, I swear it would be bigger than the biggest thing. God.

Honey, if something red oozes out of your skin, that's bad enough. But when you see it purple, and you see it through your skin, that's the real trouble.

Not even a dose of Jared Leto can cure me.

Oh. Today was a brown day too. I bought two, new, brown stuff. A brown Giordano polo short,which I bought against my own will due to *ehem* some circumstances...and brown Havaianas? Oh yeah. 7 Giordanos and 7 Havaianas...Still counting! =D

Now what. I'm still nursing the throbbing finger, ~~a guilty conscience,~~ a regretful mind, and a needy heart. More than the last time I counted.

...a purple finger with a green leaf over it.

2007-03-24T22:13:00.000+08:00

Oooh-lala. Purple+Green= Eggplant. HAHAHA. I went to Town today (and tomorrow,too.damn) and watched Because I Said So. Cute movie,I love the Johnny guy. =)) Since I am in no position to type much stuff here...I'll do the review sometime else. =D I saw "5" in town today. Surprisingly,I wasn't as blown away...as I thought I would be. Dear.

So, I was crying over food kanina, 'cause it was so darn painful. Our maids pitied me,and they felt helpless. We tried ice, which just made the situation worse. Now I'm typing with a leaf over my thumb, which is supposed to ease the pain. It hasn't eased the pain, but atleast I felt better.

My mother's mad at us for blowing her off kanina, 'cause we were supposed to pick up and throw the cups that we used awhile ago,while watching the movie. Eh I and my sister,Chiara felt like tripping,so we left her there. She got mad. I feel bad.

Now what, I have to nurse a throbbing thumb and a gulity conscience.

I need a hug from my old bear...however you might call him...talong, black, taba, dong or whatever. Not that I hugged him ever... He used to have this magic of making me feel better, I guess...even if he wasn't talking to me. Even if it's only between the two of us. Even if...

Gaaaahh I better stop. It's corny, and useless and pointless.

Haaayayayayyy. I feel like crying again.

i have a purple finger

2007-03-24T20:55:00.000+08:00

Damnit.Damnit.Damnit.I accidentally left my right thumb while getting out of the car, and now I have a partially purple finger,which is throbbing,as I type. Goddamnit,it's painful.

***

Be back when it heals.

jared leto...

2007-03-24T11:39:00.000+08:00

...is gorgeous. i love you. =)) =)) kiddang.

He's the lead singer of 30 seconds to mars...and he's an actor!!! How cool is that? =))

attack- 30 seconds to mars

I saw this on MTV the other day, and so I downloaded the song. Sabi na I heard the title from someone else eh... =))

I love his voice, really. It's so distinct, and it doesn't sound punk-ish. =D

damn.

garfield

2007-03-24T10:38:00.000+08:00

What I get from my daily dose of Garfield comics. I am not a HUGE fan of garfield comics, but I found it pretty intriguing when someone sent in a link for free daily garfield comics. =D

I liked this certain strip. =))

***

Summer is turning out pretty well. I went out with Angelique to Town yesterday to "supposedly" chaperon my sister and her kid friends. Turns out, that's not what we did. We saw A LOT of people, (I'm talking about Bedans here) especially ones from the 4th year level and the gradeschoolers, since they had their farewell party today. We tried on clothes (HAHAHA) 'cause I'm planning to buy once I have money...and I wonder when that will be.

So while I was eating fries and Angelique was downing Bibingka (Bibingka ba yun? Diba puto-bumbong yun?) we were talking about who would make a great couple. Love teams weren't exempted, they were broken up and the other one would be paired to someone else. Haha. We made up some pretty cool couples, and their chemistry was based on their personality, and not their physical attributes. If we based it on physical attributes, it wouldn't go anywhere. Hahahaha

Basically, we ate, sat, bummed...and had fun. =) Love you Ange.

And for Barbie, Angeli and Hazel, do you want to go to Rockwell...or Greenbelt anytime? Ask permission from your parents na. =D

***

I HAVE MY iPod BACK! I just had it last Thursday. It's brand-new, and now it's almost full! A few more songs and I have to delete na.

Currently loving: when your heart stops beating (+44)

blitzkrieg bop (the ramones)

all that i've got [(the used)ulit! hahaha]

one more time [(daft punk) medyo oldies, but loving it.]

i feel like being funny.

2007-03-21T17:17:00.000+08:00

Due to the undeniably funny blog entries that I have read, I feel like being funny. (If you have the same sense of humor as I, you should totally check out Meg Cabot's place.)

Unfortunately, I do not know how. Well, I can be pretty funny, but not when I need to.

That is why I cannot be a good stand-up comedian.

As if I want to be.

Anyways, I missed my exercise today. I should not be doing this, since I want to be totally committed to my lose-weight campaign. I was supposed to do it at 5:00, I'm going to try out Yoga. I don't know how bending to some unimaginable position is going to make me any thinner, but I think it's for inner peace.

Not that I've got some inner war going on.

This new website thing is driving me mad. I'm not a quitter, I'm just going to take a so-called break. I need to, I have to. It's driving me insane. If you know anyone who knows the ropes around MS Sharepoint, do let me know. If you let me know someone who's effective enough, I'll make you your own website.

Damn. I need more laughs.

Any movies, shows, blogs that make you crack up? Let me know.

***

I BEG OF YOU PEOPLE TO COMMENT. PLEAAASE? (Y)_(Y)

senatorial elections.

2007-03-21T00:43:00.000+08:00

I've been following this show since last night.I really wish that we had ANC channel on our TV. I'm talking about the Forum 2007: The Senatorial Elections. Last night, even if I am not to vote for the next 3 elections or so, I think Mr. Juan Miguel Zubiri proved that he was worthy of a position. Just a case of bad TV commercial. His flyers are pretty poor too. You should have seen him speak.

Tonight, the senatoriables participating are, Ed Angara, Francis Escudero and Atty. Lozano.

Yous should hear Chiz Escudero speak, you'll be wowed. He's an amazing speaker. He doesn't stutter, he looks directly at his audience. Really. He's like a rapper when he speaks, only easier to understand. He doesn't beat around the bush, he talks directly. He also sets examples, which makes it easier to imagine what he is trying to say. The magic of imagery. And what, he's only 37 years old. Very, very good. He will make a good president someday. I am very impressed by him. Funny too, he looks like Bamboo Mañalac at first glance. Or maybe an older version.
Hsi life is pretty interesting too. He's married to a stage actress, I think. I forgot about it. I read it in an article way back.

Their topic is: should the constitution be amended within three years' time?

No. I don't think so. Initially, I don't think that a change in the form of government will affect our present condition. What we need is the improvement of the citizens of our country, and that will always be the issue, no matter what form of government we have. Mr. Escudero is right. The constitution is the highest form of law in any state. We should not let the administration handle this. Like he said, God only gave 10 commandments. If we follow all these, we won't have any problems. Thing is, we can't. The same goes for our constitution. New laws won't be a solution. We need the government to support the needs of the people.

How about you? What do you think? Should the constitution be amended within three years' time? Tell me what you think. Leave comments, I would love to read how you respond.

of html, css, websites and summer...

2007-03-20T15:34:00.000+08:00

I am planning to transfer blogs this summer. Since I am coming up with a new project (e.g. website) for my mum's batch in high school, I decided to make my own website. Not a blog, website. I'm not telling where it is, 'cause it's still a mess. I'm having fun, and it proves to be a challenge. Too bad I can't download the trial version of MS Sharepoint. Well, I actually can, it's just that the file's too big, and, well, our hard disk cannot accomodate a file as huge as that. I just reminded my mother to buy a new hard disk, so I can install games I have been dying to install already, so that I won't be stuck here this summer.

Speaking of summer, I officially started mine today. Here are some things I plan to do/finish/accomplish over the summer:

lose weight
take soccer lessons (it's in san juan, manila. far, if you ask me)
take drum lessons (finally. *whew!*)
finish my mother's website
finish my own website
make a ultra-cool layout for my own website
have a summer job. may not pay well, may not pay at all, as long as it's interesting, for someone like me.
make a scrapbook of my life before i turned 18
develop pictures (old-skool)
buy the pink and brown chucks that i saw in a website.
buy something over the net
organize my things

That's all. Not quite many, isn't it? By the end of the summer, you shall face the truth, together with me, and we will cross out everything that I accomplished. I hope that I'll accomplish the first one. It's not about looking better to attract the guy that I like (I like no one as of the moment). It's about feeling good about myself. As if I don't feel good about myself already.

I'm glad that I'm starting to treat myself well already. Not letting some guy downgrade me. Knowing that I deserve someone better. He can be perfect and all that, be ideal and all that, but not for me. IF he is the one that's for me, according to the Moirae (don't know them? Do your research. That's what Wikipedia is for), then time will tell, right? Why the heck waste time?

I'm glad that I have finally decided that it's time to move on. I've said it many times, I'll say it again. God knows how hard I try. But maybe not hard enough. I'm glad that I don't like anyone right now. It was something I thought I wasn't capable of, but here I am. I don't like anyone...I mean...in that way. Who knows, someone might come along and stay for a summer fling. ((:

SO, so. Cheers to websites, summer and flings! ((;

you know what, whatever.

2007-03-19T23:43:00.000+08:00

Many things hold me back while making posts: among a few of them are:

people might not be able to read it, therefore will not be able to comment on them
they are not substantial, therefore not sensible
i don't know how to end my posts. before, i don't know how to start an article. now, my problem is how to end it.
sometimes, i don't know where i'm going with what i'm supposed to say.
i have this mantra: absence makes the heart grow fonder. if i don't post always, more people will constantly visit my blog. which i do not know if it's true.

Well, if I want to change, then I must not let anything, anyone hold me back. I've always been inspired by many people who have very popular, beautiful yet very substantial blogs. And I follow their trend. Now, I won't. And I will be setting my own. These people, do not get me wrong, have very amazing blogs, and they never cease to inspire me. And maybe someday, years from now, I'll be able to inspire other people to blog too.

I was supposed to make a post about change. And now, I'm going to undergo one.

Cheers to my freedom in blogging! (:

oh dear.

2007-03-19T17:14:00.001+08:00

No match ako dun sa crush niya. Wooow. Ansexy! Haha.

***

Went to Nasugbu, Batangas over the weekend. I'm too tired to tell who was there. But there were a couple of my mother's officemates and friends. Tita Thelma, my mum's friend, was there too, with her family.

We went ahead of them, and we agreed to meet at Starbucks, Tagaytay because Tita Thelma didn't know the way. My mum's officemates are to come in the evening. We chilled out there [literally. it was cold out there.] for about an hour or so. And then Tita Thelma and her crew arrived. Ang dami nila! (They were many!) Dang. Ayun, headed over to Tali Beach. We passed by Terrazas de Punta Fuego. Dear Lord, I WANT to go back there! I swear. Mom said maybe sometime this summer.

Oh yeah, we might be going to Malaysia sometime. That is so cool. (: I'll be getting to see a lot of our world already. How nice.

Ok. Pictures:

le ceiling

playing volleyball

dami tao.

ooh. purty.

pictures here, once again.comments are greatly appreciated.

farewell.

2007-03-16T20:39:00.000+08:00

People present today:
- angeli
- angelique
- hazel
- barbie
- genevieve
- sheryll
- ana r.
- jen jen
- jethro
- madz
- aivi
- ayana
- dana
- arielle
- erika
- crissa
- nadine
- dia
- hanna
- franklin
- josh
- daddy paul
- carl
- jiggy e.
- zigmund
- nicole
- michael
- jp
- benedic
- sean
- justin
- mark
- danton
- johan

We had our farewell party as a section. Well, most of us atleast. Too bad not everyone was there. It should have been required. Well, it was required. Whatever, it's too stressful to elaborate.

I met the kids over at Tacobell at SM Southmall. A couple of the guys were already there. (; After wasting time over there [Tacobell's interior is LOVE], the guys (and I mean boys) + I headed over to Hazel's car to go over to the Camella Homes Clubhouse. The place was nice. Little by little everyone poured over to the pool. Others had to be forced to the pool until everyone was already there. Fun. Everyone was required to wear shades, but I only saw I few actually wearing them.

I had fun. Really guys, I love you all. (:

Grabe, what Franklin did to Hazel was so effing sweet. I'm starting to sound perky now. Or something like that. But really. You were great dude. Good luck, dude and dudette! (:

Now what. I have to go swimming tomorrow again. By the end of summer, I'll be black as charcoal. (:

love the pic.

le pool.

crissa, nadine, erika and dia. love the picture.

hazel and carl?!?! SINO TO?

for more pictures. click HERE.

of all music videos

2007-03-15T19:37:00.000+08:00

Girlfriend: Avril Lavigne

Waddaheck happened to Avril Lavigne? The last time I saw her was she was all black, from top-to toe. Since when did she know how to dance? I'm not a fan of Avril, but I liked her Under my Skin album. What the hell happened? I don't know if I like this new her or what. I've got nothing against it, but it needs some getting used to. She's just so different. The angsty teen got younger. Never thought she'd resort to this image. :)

Sweet Escape: Gwen Stefani

Now this is a funny video. I've never seen so many gold in the same place my whole life. And the scene where 2 Harajuku girls go up the building using Gwen's looong hair is funny. They look cute bobbing up and down the same time. =)) It was pretty cool, even if I expected for them to de-musicvideo-lize the song in a different manner. Nonetheless, I still stop switching channels when I see this video on MTV. Which says a lot.

Grace Kelly : Mika

Now I looove this music video. I love the song too. They were pretty much telling the truth when they said that this was the best song within a few years. I find it hilarious and very light. I try to be that Grace Kelly, but her looks were too sad... Am I too dirty? Am I too flirty? Do I like what you like? :p I looove the little girls in the video!!! I love how the little girl does the voice over. =D

A Favor House Atlantic : Coheed & Cambria

I think that Coheed and Cambria videos are the best. They're so hilarious. I think their vocalist would look better without much hair. But I guess that's what makes a statement. Suddenly, their music isn't all as freaky as it was to me. =D

***

Get Your Crazy Text Banner @ JellyMuffin.com

here are somethings my friend jasmine made for me. :D

i want a camera.

2007-03-14T20:43:00.000+08:00

I want a Sony digicam. Or a handicam would do. You have no idea how much it means to me to capture anything and make them look beautiful, even if it's only in the photo. It means much to me to be able to capture stillness for a second. It means much to remember these things and to be able to share it with you. That's why I want my own digicam so bad. We have a family digicam, but I don't feel like it's mine. Plus, it's not really on the latest side.

Speaking of cameras, I want to be a photographer when I grow up. I was thinking of jobs the other day, and nothing seemed to fit me. I thought of being a lawyer. Heck no. It wouldn't fit my lifestyle, even if it would fit my headstrong personality. A politician maybe? No. That's one job my mum wouldn't approve for me. And thinking of actually making leaflets and posters with my face and name plastered in them gives me the chills. A doctor? Hell no. I never wanted to be a doctor. A pshychologist? Hmmm. Still in the medicine department. But I'm also considering this one.

So I ended up thinking of photography. It has long been one of my options, and I got encouraged when people kept on telling me how good I was in taking photos. Graphic designing has always been a dream, even as a young girl, believe it or not. I loved drawing designs and backgrounds and conceptualizing things in my young mind. But I do not know how to draw. Can that be a drawback?

But I was thinking that these two jobs that I want aren't really stable as to working in the office and becoming an employee. But this is the first time that I really felt the drive to be someone I wanted to be. I want to capture the beauty of anyone, anything, everything! I'm not used to being the subject of photos, I would much rather being behind the camera. The person behind the beautiful picture. Kind of like being a director.

Andy Warhol is a famous American painter who defines
Pop Art. He is famous for depicting celebrities and daily objects differently,
as the one shown above: the can of Campbell's soup. I also loved reading about
his works about American mythology, which according to him includes Mickey Mouse
and several more legendary animated and iconic figures, equivalent to the heroes
and gods of Greek , Roman and Norse mythology.

I am inspired by Andy Warhol's works. And one day, some day, I'll be the Andy Warhol of my generation. Heck, even of the Philippines, if there's no one yet. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to take photos and edit them into something that I can say that is truly me. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do.

What now, I better start working on it.

Click!

baby i'm too lost in you... =))

2007-03-12T23:33:00.000+08:00

You look into my eyes
I go out of my mind
I can't see anything
Cos this love's got me blind
I can't help myself
I can't break the
spell
I can't even try

I'm in over my head
You got under skin
I got no strength at all
In the state that I'm in

And my knees
are weak
And my mouth can't speak
Fell too far this time

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in
everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just
think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too
lost in you)

ooh
Well you whispered to me
And I shiver inside
You undo me and move me
In ways undefined
And you're all I see
And you're all I need
Help me baby (help me baby)
Help me baby (help
me now)

Cos I'm slipping away
Like the sand to the tide
Falling
into your arms
Falling into your eyes
If you get too near
I might
disappear
I might lose my mind

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm too lost in
you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't
sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

I'm going in crazy in love
for you baby
(I can't eat and I can't sleep)
I'm going down like a stone
in the sea
Yeah, no one can rescue me
(No one can rescue me)

Oooh, my baby
Oooh, baby, baby

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm too
lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I
can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you
do)
I'm too lost in you

I'm lost in you
I'm lost in you
I'm
lost in everything about you
So deep (so deep), I can't sleep
I can't
think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in
you
(Too lost in you)

Not for anyone special, I just love the song. You know how much I love the Sugababes. I know this song will apply to a lot people out there (*cough*).

So anyways. I should be studying right now, but I'm distracted.

I just reread my last post and I sounded so preppy. "Gosh", "I am SO going to die early". Wow. I'm not preppy, mind you. (:

pfft.

2007-03-12T18:56:00.000+08:00

I've been putting off posts so that my classmates would see my post about them. But since the others don't care to acknowledge people who care for the section, edi papatung-patungan ko nalang ng sandamakmak na posts, diba?

Pshshshshshhhh.

I am soooo wasted. I just woke up. It was so funny, since when I woke up and looked at the clock which said 6 o'clock, I suddenly rushed outside, 'cause I thought it was morning already. I was still in my uniform when I suddenly bustled out of our room. My sister and her friend just looked and me...and she said, "ok ka lang? mukha kang ulol.". I know, I know. But that's how I, and my beloved sister Chiara show love for each other. I know she loves me deep inside, especially when she's asking for something.

So anyways, imagine my horror when I found out that it was still the same day. My heart was beating so fast, since tomorrow, we'll have what-would-be our hardest final exams, Science and Social Studies. Ehhh I haven't studied yet. (:

So I came home wasted a while ago, carrying a LOT of stuff from my locker. We also got our class pictures today, I'll scan it when I can. I look stupid. But that's ok, most of us look wasted anyways.

***

I am so annoyed today. How is it that when I'm trying to avoid someone they have to be there lagi? (always) Hu hu hu. And then when I'm looking for someone, they're always hard to find!!!

Ah well. I PIGGED OUT today. I am such a loser. Actually, these past few days, I've been pigging out so bad. I'm SO going to die early. Just kidding. Gosh. I don't know why! The boys are like...I don't know. While I...am being such a pig. Maybe I'm just granting myself these things I will be banned from them during the summer.

I know. I hate it when mum nags me to lose weight.

It recently just occured to me that I really DO hate being nagged. :))

dise-sais.

2007-03-09T19:43:00.000+08:00

This is the only time everything has sunk it. I feel so awful, thinking about the wonderful things that have happened to me today, I almost feel like crying.

Today is the last official day that I'll be seeing those backs and asses on their seats. I sit in the back, you know, so I see almost everyone.

Grabe, I can say that all's well that ends well. I've settled everything with everyone, I guess. No, I haven't talked to them, but considering how the reacted to me today, I think we're cool.

THIS IS THE BEST SECTION I HAVE EVER HAD.

They have made freshman year so worthwhile, so wonderful, I don't even know where to start. God has brought us together for a reason, I guess. So that we learn new lessons, experience more things, realize our wrongdoings, and just for once, accept people as they are.

I can finally say that I'll miss EVERYONE from sixteen '07. From (in no specific order, this was according to the class retreat picture)

big man danton who has the HUGE house in ayala alabang
johan...whose dimples are to DIE for.
lawrence whose looks can be deceiving...
justin, our very own koala bear.
zigmund, the moody guy...i think.
jiggy f., champion swimmer. woot!
norman. cornyboy. haha.
jp! jp, jp jp. mister sexeytarey!
mark, whose smile i will never forget
michael, perenial bugger. (;
renzo, my music budddy!!!!
aivi, number 1 ibong adarna. yeeeeaaah.
hanna, whose nails are as long as can be.
ako na sunod sa retreat pic eh. (i'm the next one in our retreat pic.)
ate jeeeet! dance buddy. lol. el bise de dise sais. tama? (correct?)
mariz, harry potter addict!
sheryll, superthin!
madelyn, supergay kid. haha. my rival to number 5! jk.
ayana. the kid with so many nicknames. yani,babs,robin,lumot,megaphone, magicwand...
crissa, kid with the cool haircut. yeah!
dia, dia dia, whose barkada has so many crushes, they give them directions as codenames
belina. chocnut, beybe! she's actually grown accustomed to her nickname, she acknowledges it!
dana, top girl!
genevieve, the gentle giant. you'd thought she'd have a big voice, but NOOO! (:
arielle, super quiet, but insightful as well.
big man franklin, EL PRESIDENTE, beybe!
inna, ernestoo! yihee!
erika! number 1 addict kay up. one time, i just asked them, have you seen up? and then they suddenly screamed like hell.
nadine. another up addict, and one of dia's kadamates.
jenjen. JERRYBEYBE!
ana, hahah. the ever-loud ana.
benedic, champion torpe.
jm, whose insights aren't as positive...
carl, BEBETOT! hahahaahahahahahahah.
sean, who's really nice, once you get to know him. i won't forget the time that i ACCIDENTALLY burped. you should have seen his face.
jiggy e, the great wall of china. yeeaah.
paul, my dadddyyyyy! hahahah. forever sabaw. or atleast he looks like it. TUGSH TUGSH TUGSH. hahahahahahah.
josh, the campus hottie and the predicted up-and-coming politico.
nicole, my driiiveeer! hahahahaha.
lenard...pikachu!
angeli, one of my closest buddies. kasagutan for life.
angelique, future miss universe. HAHAHAHAHA. sorry guys, she's [almost] taken.
barbie, the only japarabumbai in the world.
hazel, buddybuddyyyy!!! hahahaha. perenial slow person who loves laughing out loud.
kat, the kid looooved by everyone! (: i miss you, babe!

Wow. That was fun. Things went too fast, my dear friends. I wish to see you in the next life. And to Miss Marcos, the most understanding, most patient, the BEST class adviser ever. I swear to God, you deserve the BEST.

I love you SIXTEEN!

bounce to this.

2007-03-08T18:54:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to talk about chicken curry, but I deleted it. I was supposed to talk about how much I will miss my section, I deleted it too. I don't know why.

I'm listening to Bounce by Rage Against the Machine & Snoop Dogg. Rock and hiphop sounds good. Atleast in this collaboration.

Wow. Just the thought of being constantly in front of the computer and doing absolutely nothing productive makes me feel weird.

Summer bummer.

It's been a year, and I remember last summer. Last summer was ULTIMATE BLISS pare. I don't know if there's a pattern with my summers, but damn, last summer was so blissful. Last last summer made me fat. ((: Maybe this summer will suck.

No it won't. I won't let it suck. I'd do lot of stuff. I promised myself.

And probably, during summer, things would be better. Things will go back to the way they were.

How can I fix it if I don't know what HAPPENED? Would someone please tell me what happened?

Sure, I'd leave it alone. But it'll bother me, I promise. I don't like how it ended. It was a tragedy. But what the heck, I'll just get over it, I guess. Diba. I mean, what went wrong, damn it.

I wanna cry. Haha. Mommeee. :(

Ang daya kasi eh. If ever you're reading this, PLEASE tell me what happened. Or whatever.

we flyin first class...up in the sky. (:

2007-03-06T22:29:00.000+08:00

This is my 405th post. Cool. When will I reach my 1000th post kaya? Grabe, this blog is so special to me. I didn't know I'd last this long. When others have given up and transferred and gone somewhere and then gone back again and left and whatever's next, I'm still here. And I guess I'll be seeing more of people this summer, due to their uhm, summer boredom. Or whatever, I don't know.

I find my life completely uninteresting, and I find ways to make it seem interesting, without lying or fabricating whatever. I don't do that, that's not right.

Which is the reason why I am completely suprised to see more than 1 circle in my NeoFlag counter! YEEEEEEEEY. :) People actually DO drop by here! Ang daya naman, leave your COMMENTS, people!!

Wow, people from Croatia and Bahrain manage to drop by. And Poland. AND ITALY!

Oh wow, who're the people from UK? Hala, my titos? [UNCLES] HIII! Hahaha. Send your love to Matty and Gaia for me, IF EVER you are reading this.

***
I SO miss my iPod. My baby! =(( I feel awfully sad. You want to know what happened?

We were hanging out at Danton's house, which had a pool [yeah, I have written about this house a couple of times before. the one in ayala alabang!!], and aivi, my friend/groupmate was using my ipod. She was fooling around with Lenard, so she pushed him to the pool. Then she went to side, and she SLIPPED down to the pool. Karma got back at her easy. What I wonder about is why I got karma'd too. What'd I do?

At first, I was kind of, it's ok, just pay for it. I didn't worry much, 'cause I thought it's just a blip, and it'll be fine the next day. I guess it wasn't. Up to now, it still won't work.

Aivi promised to pay for it anyways. Thanks Aivi! I really appreciate it.

And you know what, when I found out that it won't work anymore? I felt like crying. Really. It was a material thing, but I valued it a lot, and it's part of my daily routine. Now I practically live my life in silence, except when I am in front of the computer, 'cause I can always use my iTunes.

I miss my iPod. Really. I don't know why I feel sad without it. Maybe I got so attached to it, life's harder without it.

It DOESN'T help that some people around me go sashaying around with an iPod glued to their ears. Naiinggit ako. I feel jealous.

Music means a lot to me, in ways I cannot explain. Music can easily shift my mood. The lyrics, no matter how corny, chessy or whatever make me realize things. Music influences me. Music makes me dance. Music makes me lose control.

Music...is magic.

tired.

2007-03-05T19:18:00.000+08:00

I promised myself not to post as often, but I guess I just can't help myself, can't I?

I'm tired, and sleepy, and stressed out. But it's ok, I guess it's just almost the end of the schoolyear, and I should have expected it coming.

Ok, I'm a complete loser 'cause I installed a NeoFlag counter. But I want to see if I only get visitors from the Philippines... What do you know, my uncles might be checking out my blog. It's kinda cute too... (: I don't expect those circles to grow...but it's ok... (:

Things are getting stressful, projects and homeworks here and there, plus problems pa. But I guess it's really up to you to deal with the problem or not. To make it a problem, or not. For now, since I've got a lot to do, I choose not to make it a problem, and just to get over it. It's not that hard, considering the fact that I'm on busy mode always. I should learn time management.

I can't wait for school to end. Summer, here I come! I've got so many activities planned during summer. Well, I just don't want to waste time, if you know what I mean. Summer's a great opportunity to meet new people, and discover new things, to meet new people...and to lose weight. I have to have to have to be fit. (: I'm not sad, 'cause I know I'll be keeping in touch with the people along the way. And boy, do I know I'll miss all these stress and homeworks and projects during the summer. (:

no boy hates a girl.

2007-03-04T20:00:00.000+08:00

There's no fun when no one comments. :( Come on, you don't have to have a blogspot account to comment. Please comment, you have no idea how much it makes my day/night/midnight.

***

I did absolutely nothing productive today, I'm such a pig and a bum. I promised myself to do more things this summer. Like maybe soccer training, a kewl summer job, and maybe work out. I have to lose weight. My mum keeps bugging me about it. So I have to. Or else I have to keep up with my mum's litanies on how my crush would like me back if I lose weight. Hi, Mom.

Why don't guys just see through girls?

I don't know, but science says that people--not only guys--go after the physical things.

Which is true, for me. I'm practicing hypocrisy and I don't know it. But really, one of my 'latest' ventures was incredibly goodlooking (he must never read this or else it might get into his head bad)...but I wasn't entirely aware of it until I got interested with him. Which deems impossible to other people, since he's "the hottest property of the batch" as I may quote. But it doesn't matter to me anymore. He's ruined it for me, and I don't think he cares anyway, so why should I care?

I like someone new. (; I think. Maybe? Yeah. I don't know. I get the chills when I see him. So I should count that as something, shouldn't I? (: But he went out with someone else last prom night, not that I expect him to go out with me. DUH. I'm a freshman, he's a junior.

So to dot it all down, I like greenwich (5-55-55) and fountain boy. Fountain boy's cute. But "we're" crushing on him from afar. I doubt both know I exist. But it's ok, I guess. The hot kid I used to crush on knows I exist, and look where it got me. But I'm not saying that you shouldn't let the apple/s of your eye know that you exist--that's awful. It's just that what I just said doesn't apply in the aforementioned situation. But really, you should give it a shot in telling your guy that you like him. It might overflow into something really good. No one I know doesn't like to be crushed on by people. It's a boost for the self-esteem, and you end up feeling good about yourself. In turn, your feelings might overflow into feeling good about that someone and end up liking them too.

That's the explanation for...bakit ang mga lalaki nagkakacrush lang sa girl pag nagkakacrush siya sakanila?

Sometimes, it doesn't happen at an instant. But someone told me that if they found out that someone likes them, they think of that person often.

Well, you've got more reason to tell someone you like them, don't you? What have you got to lose? Don't make mistakes that I made. If they don't like you back, there's nothing wrong with that. More fish in the sea, babes and dudes.

am i too dirty am i too flirty do i like what you like?

2007-03-03T23:50:00.000+08:00

Some kids from our group in Filipino came over. Due to the incredibly low rate of the members present, we just decided to bum around and start to decide on what to do with the props. Out of the eleven members, only 4 (plus 1, which is I) came. I can't blame them, though. We met last Thursday already.

I met with JP, Johan, Danton and Angeli over at McDo's ATC. Members of another group --group 1, I think -- were also there. Grabe ang gulo talaga namin wherever, whenever. Ang dami nila, nakakainggit. I was kind of famished, so I bought large fries and large coke. When I brought the tray of my food, little hands started to grab at my fries like mad. Pagtingin ko, *huhuhu* halos nangalahati na yung fries. Takaw talaga oh. Tsk.

So...yeah, they like, left ahead of us... And akala namin a'attend pa si Franklin, so we waited. My mom kind of checked out the Xda Exec that they were selling somewhere in ATC. So when she came back and Franklin was declared a no-show, we left. What if Franklin was there...tapos he arrived just the same time as we left? Poor kid.

Yeah. Roadtrip... It was kind of funny, cause three of my other goupmates had no clue where we were going, since they all lived in Parañaque, and I stay in Las Piñas, together with Johan. We arrived, digged on some chips, and then had lunch. I was kind of glad they felt like home. Yeah. They would occasionally go on this computer and do whatever they would wish.

After that, we set for SM Southmall, which is just walking distance from our house. The boys went to play Dota while I, Angeli and my little sister Chiara bought the things that we needed.

GRABE Sale sa SM. You know how sales in SM go. Savage. Haha. But we managed to get through. Nauna kami sa boys pauwi. They stayed behind and played DOTA. I was kind of worried nung matagal sila... But they ended up going home anyway, and I was in the CR, taking a bath. Yeah, I'm a rude host. But whatever, they didn't seem to mind.

Tapos yun. JP served as a 'form of entertainment'. Yeah. Danton and Mojacko helped us. Angeli was rambling like mad. Poor kid doesn't know what to do with the turtles that she needs to save. As if I know what to do with mine.

Boys left early, they were fetched by Johan's brother. Angeli and I continued painting. No, scratch that. I ate and ate, while Angeli painted. When I couldn't eat no more, I painted with her... Ayun. We fixed up, then set off to town. Watched It's A BoyGirl Thing. Cool movie. (:

I'm worried how our play will turn out. =))

celebrities, balls and pechay.

2007-03-02T21:12:00.000+08:00

I feel happy today. I can finally tell myself that I'm ready to say byebye to a certain person who used to be the sun in my solar system. The center of my life. Well, I was sad with how it ended. But if you really come down to it, it's just like before, except the fact that things are going on behind my back. But I really don't mind. Now, I think I can live the celebrity life.

I don't know how celebrities do it. They get tons of cash yet they expect to get freebies. Some make showbiz appear easy. Maybe I'm just clueless, I don't know. What do they do if they ain't famous anymore?

The kid was one memory I'd always love to remember. One I'd always love to talk about. But it's cool. Maybe some things just weren't meant to be.

***

Oh, and oh, we won the finals today against section 13. Intrams volleyball game. We're CHAMPIONS already!!! It still hasn't sunk in. I mean eversince grade 5, the team which includes the top section (in our batch) has never won the championships...UNTIL NOW! Initially, we were supposed to go against section 11, but we waited for them for over an hour or so... We even asked Miss to extend the deadline 10 minutes more. They lost by default, and they're complaining, 'cause Miss didn't allow them to play. Frankly, I don't know what'll happen.

If nothing goes wrong, we're going against section 29 for the finals. Oh God. I think it's going to be hard, considering the fact that I think they're goooooood. Well, good luck though. I guess we just have to believe in what we could do. YEAH! We've improved over the set of games that we've played. We actually beat section 13, despite our loss against them during the qualifying games.

***

Political advertisements are rampant right now. It's campaign period already. Senatoriables have appeared with their individual TV commercials. And believe me, they ARE amusing. Especially Prospero Pichay's. Pichay. Itanim sa senado!!! I do think he's aware that pechay's a vegetable. It just sounds weird. But I guess it's a gimmik they use so that the voters would remember his name.

Miguel Zubiri's amusing and bemusing at the same time... Zubiri! Zubiri! Boom boom boom!

Even Mike Defensor's is weird... Tol! Tol!

I only find Kiko Pangilinan's ad decent...Andito na si Kiko...(in tune with one of PnE's songs). It's catchy, and it caters to the younger voters.

I reckon how the senatoriables are going to get votes using their commercials. I know nought about these things. Marketing and stuff.

And just in the topic of politics...What if one of the people I know becomes an electorate? (Tama ba?). That'd be really awesome. Uy classmate ko yan nung highschool oh! HAHAHA.

***

And these three topics conclude my now-weekly post. (:

i'm tired.

2007-03-01T21:41:00.000+08:00

i'm tired. -_-

sunday night tv

2007-02-25T23:28:00.000+08:00

Well, this is fun. (:

I'm watching Pinoy Big Brother right now, due to my inability to switch channels due to the loss of the remote control.

Well, the housemates were pretty interesting. Haha. Laughtrip yung Austrian guy. LEDERHOSEN KID!!!!!! Wooooot! If you ask me what Lederhosen is, I don't know. So don't ask me. I just read it from Georgia Nicolson's books.

Grabe, they should teach international languages in schools. Requisite dapat. Kaya lang baka dagdag pa sa workload. Pero seryoso ako. They should teach German. It's a funny language. Well not that I'm making fun of the German language...Pero the accent...So...so eccentric! :)

Oh. I love the Australian guy's accent. Lab. I looove the fact that he's a charming kid. Yeah. Nakakatawa lang...when Bianca asked him...something about why he chose a female warrior as a character in Dota (DOTA yung game na nilalaro niya diba? World of Warcraft?! DIBA PAREHO LANG YUN!? =)) =)) =)) ) tapos sabi niya... kasi kamukha mo. I'm like...WHAAAATTT?! Ano raw? pero nakakaflatter din ah.

Grabe. Ang weird kaya nila. What's up with the Police Line thing everytime they start this mini-introduction about the certain housemate's life? POLICE LINE? Diba military yung theme nila? Okkaaay so medyo na'stray sila from the theme. But whatever.

So farr.... I think the housemates are all fairly good looking. Medyo makapal lang yung Nel guy hah. I find him funny, though. exotic beauty. YEAH! Haha.

Ay sus. Hahah. Watching TV at night makes me hungry. I really think I'm going to die early. Grabe. Ang takaw ko kaya. Kanina, I had this mixture of vanilla ice cream+condensada+bananas+choco syrup. SHET. Sinful, pare. I have to hit the gym or something. Or else talagang hindi ako papayat. =)) =)) =))

Ang weird ng suot ni Mariel. I don't know what that's supposed to do with the Military theme. Ewan. Weird din yung kay Bianca. Pero she looks hott. So...no question on that.

HALA. 11:44 na. I have to go to sleep. Tatapusin ko lang yung PBB. Ang aga kaya namin tomorrow. We have a game against 19. Semi-finals?! Shyyyt. Good luck. Hhahaaha.

random rants

2007-02-24T16:35:00.001+08:00

Did somebody take your tongue, in worries of the words that you couldn't say, that they could have saved them from? And I don't want to sleep without. So I bid to you, good night. Tonight, sleep tight, my love.

And that was The Velourium Camper I: Faint of Hearts by Coheed & Cambria. I love that song. It sounds different than the songs from Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV, Volume 1: From Fear Through The Eyes Of Mad. That's an awfully long title, by the way. I love a couple of songs from Good Apollo... though. Yeah.

I hope you die right now, will you drink my chemical? And if you cry out loud it will only make me feel too good... (Once upon your...Once upon your dead body...)

Ang MORBID. Hahaha. Ehwell. Sounds nice naman.

Nako. Limewire wouldn't let me download some songs by the Ramones. Ang daya. :( You guys know anywhere else where I could download Ramones songs?

Anyways. I'm craving for KFC. Extrreeemee HotShots, baby!

Also, there's nothing good on TV. It's so unfair. I want my Nickelodeon back. Seriously. There's always something good in Nick at this time of the day, at this day of the week. Awful. I also miss Girls in Love. That's a British series way back in Nick, and...well, I don't know if they still show it. I used to watch it with my Tito, who's a British citizen. He's a cool kid. He's the youngest among my mom's siblings. Haa haa haa.

I want to do good Photoshopping. If you get what I mean. You know... Hard stuff. Technical stuff. I want that. :( Maybe I'll take photoshop lessons this summer. That is, if my mom allows me to. Haha. I want to make my own vector images. Then maybe I'm going to share it online with you guys.

Wow. I'm so fond of posting long stuff nowadays. I'm being a hypocrite to Angeli. Eh bakit ba, bihira lang naman eh.

Wow. Malapit na matapos schoolyear. Frankly, I don't want to talk about it, 'cause I don't know if I want it to end or not. Seriously. It ending means, I don't get to see my friends... But I get to have freedom to do what I want, I guess... Also time to do more photoshopping. So...I really do NOT know anything.

OO NGA PALA. New layout! :) You guys like it? Huh? Huh? Do you?! Ang kuleeet. Hahaha. Well, I like it. It's kinda childish... Hahah. Voices nga pala yung kanta sa header. By Saosin. Download it, it's a nice song. Nice lyrics too.

What else? I WANT TO GO OUT. Out of town, I mean. Hey, that's gotta mean something. I'm usually the homebody. Now I want go out. I want to go to the beeaccchh naaaa! Yehey. I want to go to Punta Fuego uli. Grabbbeee.

boom boom. tgsh tgsh. tililing!

2007-02-23T20:50:00.000+08:00

Listening to:

Famous Last Words - The Black Parade - My Chemical Romance
Choke on This - Let it Enfold You - Senses Fail
Martini Kiss - Let it Enfold You - Senses Fail
Noise and Kisses - The Used

Wow. Ang baboy nung last post ko. Yeah.

You know what I really, really want? I really, really want a MacBook. A PowerBook. With GarageBand and Adobe Photoshop in it. Everything I'll ever need. Then I'll escape. Sweet escape [YEAH.]. I'll lock myself up in my own room [If ever I'll ever have my own, own. Own sweet room].

You know what else I want? Either I take drum lessons, or continue my piano lessons. The thing about piano lessons are: I don't want to take piano lessons in Yamaha again, 'cause it's so boring, and it can be pretty tiresome to go. Tamad lang ako. You know. I want to do homeschooling. I mean, you know piano homeschooling. The thing about drum lessons are: you gotta have the set, you gotta have a PLACE to put the set, you gotta have a music room that's soundproof, and yeah, people might think you're doing it 'cause someone you liked does it...You should have seen the look on their eyes the moment they set eyes on Nicole's drawing. I mean, really. Even I was surprised. Never thought he'd portray me as a drummer. People were like, Nagd'drums ka? Ako naman parang, Hindi. Haha. Kawawa naman ako.

It's been years since I wanted to learn how to play the piano. Too bad, I'm way behind the young piano virtuosos out there, who're like, performing big time at my age. While I, am only learning the basics. Sayang. There was one friend of my dad's, and she told me I had the potential. That was way back. Now what. Maybe the potential's gone. Piano lessons are boring and all, but there's something that makes me want to go back. There's a certain grace to a pianist's body. The way they're coordinated when behind the piano. The concentration. The look on their face. There's something about it. And I want that.

Actually, it's been actually 3 years since I've wanted to play the drums. Seriously. And I still want to play them, up to now. There's just something attractive about playing them. Really. I'm not kidding. I'm not being plastic here. Heaven knows how long I've wanted to play those things. You know, when you're behind the set, you have this kind of freedom. I'm not the type who'd look like would play the drums. But, come on. I'm not putting myself under a stereoptype--ever. I'd do it, if I really want to. I mean, there are a lot of chick guitarists out in the scene already. So far, there's only one chick drummer I know, and she's Meg White, from the White Stripes. She's amazing. Well, no. I don't know. But I find her amazing, 'cause the White Stripes is a two-man band, but they come up with really amazing songs. Take Seven Nation Army, for example. That song's nice. (:

I'm not going to play the drums because someone I know plays the drums. Save me that shit.

I also want to go back to London. I swear, that city's magical. It's gives you this feeling like...you were meant to be in that city. You were meant to be there. Plus, who wouldn't appreciate the architectural structures (take Starbucks in a museum-looking building)? The thing about us Filipinos, is that usually, when we see something old, instead of enriching it, we tear it down, and create a new, sleek, minimalistic building out of it. Well, I appreciate the old buildings of London.

Lastly, I want a new layout. A neat one, and one that doesn't look like anything else. One that looks like Beekee did it. One that no one else can do, or duplicate. That's what I want.

lie

2007-02-21T19:51:00.000+08:00

listening to:

twenty twenty surgery - louder now - taking back sunday
gone so young - the possibility and the promise - amber pacific
the kill - a beautiful lie - thirty seconds to mars

Twenty twenty twenty surgery...bla bla bla. I can't understand anything anymore. In fact, I can't understand what I'm feeling. I'm being two-sided about things. It's the first time that there's ABSOLUTELY NO ONE I could talk to, because either:

no one cares to listen
no one's interested
no one understands
no one knows the truth

Yes. Well, I'm having my drama moment now. Yeah, well I would call myself the drama queen, before my friend Angeli came into the blogging world. She overruled me, though. Ha ha. Peace, buddy. Save the turtles! Wait, do the turtles need any saving?

So anyways, I feel utterly confused right now. You don't have to read this post if you don't want to, I'm pretty sure it's going to be long anyway. Or whatever, I'm not really certain. (:

Here goes.

***

listening to:

the faint of hearts - coheed & cambria

I don't know why I keep on living this lie. Maybe because it's what miss and my mum suggested doing? You know what, it's going on very AWFULLY. Awfully with the capital A, W, F, U, L, L, Y. Gusto ko sumigaw. Kasi ayoko na talaga yung nangyayari. Wala naman din ako masabihan. Ngayon kasi, I don't think I'm imagining things anymore. Things are happening for real already. And for once, I don't know what to do, 'cause this has never happened to me, nor to anyone else.

Oo, sometimes I wouldn't think of it, but that's because I'm just thinking of the lies that I've said. The number of lies that keep on spindling into one big gigantimous web. And maybe sometime, I'd be a fly that would not be able to get out of that web, trapped by the spider who would want to eat me.

But then, maybe it wouldn't be so bad being the fly, because I'd die already, and it ends there. In one swift motion, the spider will get me [forgive the term, I don't know how spiders tackle their...ehem...prey.] and I'll die. And then I'd get reincarnated, and then I'll be a fly again, with my fabolous octagonal vision or something.

Wait, NO I am not going to feed you the I-want-to-die shit. 'Cause that's pure BS and yeah, as if the Lord would will me to die amidst all these wrong things going on.

But really, when you think of it, life would be pretty boring without these little shitty stuff that happen, don't you think so? I mean, everyone has them, the deciding point is how you, we deal with it. Yeah. In the end, it's up to you to make yourself happy--I guess. Not the people around you, not love, not money, not fame, not power. In the end, it's just you.

Just thinking out loud.

I'm living a bliss de la mess. People think I'm being peaceful, but really. It's a completely different thing inside of me.

I can't live on this lie forever. Well, maybe I wouldn't. Who knows. Maybe I wouldn't even remember these things 'till our 25th year Highschool reunion or whatever. I don't know, and I really don't want to think about those things.

I really AM distracted person. I can't seem to get on with what I'm supposed to be writing about.

Lies are bad for your health. Really. One lie can lead to another, and then the next thing you know, you're the fly in the web that I'm talking about.

Which, in my case is true.

I don't want to lie anymore. I want to be true to thyself.

One question.

How?

everyone's entitled to their own drama moment anyway.

2007-02-20T21:52:00.000+08:00

This is for the ones who believe their lives won't change, hoping that someday things will mend and be the same. And this is for the ones who have lost it all, and all that's left to gain. This is a simple reminder that the things we're blind to slip away.

How can I say I'll be okay?

And if I fall,through these days that go by without cause. Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own. And if I fall through these nights I can't seem to go on. Just a sign that you're with me gives me the strength to hold on.

Now that the line's been broken, I'm too afraid to just look back. The pages have left an empty space. You were all I had. Why does it have to be this way?

***

Won't you come over? You know that you want to. How does it feel to know I still want you?

Why do we always seem to want what we can't have? Lessons learned. But then I listen to my heart,and it says still run back for more. I'm happy for you.

But it breaks my heart, to know I can't hold you. It's just hard to think I'll never get the chance to say you're mine.But every time you hear this song, you'll know you've made a mark on my heart and my mind.

OH RIGHT.

2007-02-20T19:52:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry darlings, i forgot to include this:

THANKS TO ALL WHO COMMENTED AND TAGGED IN MY CBOX. I'M SO SORRY I CAN'T GET BACK TO YOU GUYS KAGAD 'CAUSE I'M DOING SOMETHING, 'MKAY? SO I'M GONNA SEND YOU MY LURRVE SOME TIME.

THANKS. MUCH LURRVE. (:

btw.

I HAVE A NEW POST READ IT READ IT.

kuryente!!!

2007-02-20T18:54:00.000+08:00

HOY. WALA KAMING KURYENTE 'CAUSE THE WIRES GOT F*D UP. Not because we were unable to pay the bills. Ano naman tingin mo sakin, noh? (:

---

Oh, glorious, righteous electricity. Yeahawwww. I missed being in front of this computer. I seriously did. That last 6 days have been crraazzzyyy. Yeah. I can say that I'm a TOTAL, TOTAL survivor. Yey!!!

So here are a few things I WOULD HAVE written here:

- music and lyrics.

wonderful movie. yes. i found it utterly creative, and fairly amusing. they throw punchlines with no holds barred. i loooove hugh grant (hi mom. hahah). and the music video in the beginning was soooo amusing. hahahaha. (: <3 the movie.

- kfc.

speaking of the movie, music and lyrics, i ate kfc while watching it. well, yeah. i haven't had dinner yet, and i was seriously craving for something spicy (i love spicy food, by the way.). so i bought EXTREME hot shots and two ehrr...cups of rice. takaw, noh? hey i haven't had lunch and merienda noh. (: it was soooo fun. hahah.

- diagnostic tests.

hated: math. hahaha. well, hindi naman. i don't know some of it. actually, konti lang naman. thanks to my ninang (who's a licensed Montessori teacher in the US, btw) who gave me these workbooks on algebra. lahat nandun na. i just didn't study that much. i mean the workbooks. hahaha. hahah. aliw yung filipino test. (:

- new love.
i am in LOOOOOOVE. yey yey yey yey. Five five five. It takes five. High five. His name means: who is god? and classsssyy and happy. oh dear God. falling in love *again* is such a funny feeling. i looooove it. ahaha. the joy of seeing him in the corridors, the thrill of being looked in the eye.

shyt ang corny ko na. hahah. problem lang. hard to reach eh. adds to the thrill, but really. imma be in trouble if you-know-who knows i like ehrr... the new guy. 'cause...i don't know. i don't know. maybe imma get bad rep from him. who cares. i'm still in love.

btw, in love, in this sense means, in like. i'm not in LOVE in LOVE. do you get it? no, i don't think of him every single second *ata*, yeah. you know what i mean. i just want to use the expression cause i feel like so. not because i really mean it. kung in love ako nagdrama na ako. dibaa?

anyways. i need to go shopping. hahahaha. mummmmyyyyy!

punyeta.

2007-02-16T17:32:00.000+08:00

bwisit na Meralco. =)) WALA KAMING KURYENTE putangina. HAHAHAHAHA. Pero OK lang, I'm having fuuuuuunnn. =D Btw, absent ako because "I HAVE SEVERE MIGRAINE". Yeaaaaaahhh. I"m over at Ate Monica's (THANKS PARE). Maghohotel ata kami tomorrow pa. Shyet bakit bukas pa. Sorry puro mura hah, ngayon lang ako nagkacontact sa outside world. Eww, ang tagabundok ng dating. Ye ye ye.

hahaha. I MISS MISS MISS YOU GUYS. Ye ye ye. Musta ang atsara? Woooiii I missed out ah. Sabi na may mangyayari with Miss Marcos eh. Putaness. Stupid migraine. Parang sasabog na utak ko shyeeeetttt =(

Kelangan ko ng TV. Kahit deal or no deal lang basta may npapanuod. Huhu Iyak na ko.

Belated happy heart's day nga pala.

Oi hazel, nakuha mo yung grater?

MAGPARAMDAM KAYO PARANG AWA NYO NA. Hindi niyo alam, hu hu hu hu. WALANG KURYENTE tapos yung mga kapitbahay namin merong nga kuryente. Minsan napadungaw ako sa aming bintana sa kalagitnaan ng kagabihan at napunta ang aking paningin sa mga ilaw ilaw ng kapitbahay na wari'y nangaasar: "HAHAHAHAHAH. MAY ILAW SILA. KAYO WALA. BUTI NGA. "

Magparamdam kayo, please. Tell me why I deserved this. Hu Hu. Nagkulang ba ako sa pangangalaga sa aking mga anak? Punyeta.

Right. What Hazel told me actually was disturbing. Sakin siya nagkaatraso ah. HOY =)) But you know what, sayang oras pag iniisip ko yun. Walang kwenta. Mas may kwenta pa iyakan yung walang kuryente kesa sa ganun.

So kung tatanungin niyo kung anuano ang ginawa ko during the past two (ehrrr) days..
- kumain
- matulog
- magbasa nang magbasa (natapos ko na ata lahat ng libro dito sa bahay.)
- makitawa
- UMORDER SA 8-MCDO
- maligo
- makinig sa iPod na sa ngayon ay nakasaksak kela munica dahil UBOS na ang baterya niya (talaga nga naman)

Grabe. Ayus nga eh. I'm so lucky na mahilig ako magbasa. KUng hindi, ay tangina nakatameme lang ako sa buong bahay.. ye ye ye. Natapos ko na lahat ng pugad baboy ko (1,3,11,17,18) HIndi rin ako adik diba....

PARANG AWA NIYO NA BASAHIN NIYO TO.

Sige nababaliw na ko. I'll try to reach you.

Miss you guys. :) Byebye

make love, not war.

2007-02-13T18:52:00.000+08:00

*update//
Read THIS

And you'll know what I mean. Yeah, if you want to hurt people, you've done it. Haha. But I really don't let it bugger me. Tell you what, I want to stay in the middle.

Since when was I a peace loving person?

//*update*//

------

Don't you just love it when people give you the extra attention? Haha. Love me. Hate me. Yeah, I care. But I can't do anything about it, can I? I can't please everyone, what do you want me to do? The thing that bothers me is that I don't know the exact reasons on what these people hate me for. Yeah? Honestly, I can't say that I've done absolutely nothing with you. I'm just not sure which ones that hit you hard. (:

Can't wait when he'll talk to me. Haha. I wonder what will happen. A stink bomb in my locker before I finally leave my first year in high school behind? Or what could be worse? Confrontation? Oh, I love that. I'd be looking forward to that.

Kung mapipikon ka, atleast sabihin mo muna sakin kung bakit. Fair play tayo, pare. Kung mangreresbak ka, sabihin mo para handa din ako. Haha.

Mean kung mean. Pokpok kung pokpok. Bitch kung bitch. Backstabber kung backstabber. Walang gaguhan. If you don't like me, say it to my face, not to my big, fat, naturally black ass. Para we all live in peace, hindi ba? Make love, not war. hahahahah!

dot dot dot.

2007-02-10T11:21:00.000+08:00

Ange: Yeah, I deleted it 'cause you said it lacked intensity. I'd make a new one someday.

***

A month or so to go before the school year ends. Honestly, I don't know if I'd want it to end or not. It's been my first-ever year in high school, and as everyone older than me says it, it is very much different than grade school.

As a grade 6 student, I was asking myself, bakit ba laging pinakamasaya ang high school? masaya din naman grade school ah!

Well, yeah. My foot is in my mouth right now. High school is much more fun than grade school in so many ways.

I could honestly say that I enjoy my section a lot. Besides the stupid things that are happening, yes. My section is a mix of very different people. See, when you're in what they label as the, "top section", in grade school, there are a certain group of people that don't get out of the top section. Do you know what I mean? Well, I guess I was one of these people. You could also say that it was a breath of fresh air being classmates with other people. Some have been my classmates at least once, or twice, or thrice.

My classmates are different. Some have changed throughout the course of the school year. Well, that's part of the fun...I guess. These old and new faces have been a part of my life already.

I have made new friends, met new people, failed and succeeded. Felt good about myself, felt awful about myself. Experimented on new things all the time, thought about the old things. Created new memories, reminisced old ones. When things go, new people come.

I felt challenged. I felt the lack of passion and drive. The inconsistency.

Slowly, I have molded myself into what I want to be right now. I don't thrive to please everybody. I gave that up years ago.

High school is all about self-discovery. Let loose. Go wild. Live life. Love life.

new layout.

2007-02-09T23:03:00.000+08:00

Just dropped by to say I have a new layout. I don't know if it's going to be temporary or what. I love the header, though. (: I haven't got the nerve to blog, 'cause, well...ehr... things are pretty sh*tty. Sorry. No one wants to hear about tragedy, right? Ehr, with the complete exception of Romeo and Juliet, a story which everyone seems to love so much.

Anyways, this week has been so jam-packed, whacked and downright crazy. It's going to be February 14 this coming Wednesday! Not that I'm really expecting anything. Actually, I'll be having a "date" with my mum. Hahahahahaha. Single girls galore. Wooo. Too bad 14th's on a Wednesday. Kinda sucks. Can't stay up late 'cause there'll be classes the next day. Awwwwww :(

Haay, let me end this post with me singing...

paano sasabihin sayooooooo?

p.s.: do not mistake it for anything that i would want to tell someone.i beg of you. i have had enough of those.

please don't tell me everything is wonderful now.

2007-02-02T20:18:00.000+08:00

I ~~want~~ need to be busy with something. So that I could finally say, I'm too busy to be thinking about boys. Really. I shouldn't be thinking about them, and it's a waste of time. I wasted time awhile ago looking out for guys (with angeli, and hazel, and madz, and jethro...). I know I'd be turning them down naman. No one can replace the original superman. Not even batman. Nor spiderman. Superman's superman. No one else is superman. (My folks are reading this. Patay. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Hi guys! )

Anyways, back to the topic... Maybe it's not time to let go. Siyempre wala naman talagang makakapalit kay superman. Just like no one could replace spiderman, and batman, and wonder woman, and green lantern, and the flash...ngee corny na. Haha.

The thing with imagination is, sometimes it can deceive you into thinking of something far from reality. It can confuse you from reality and fantasy. This is getting really hard.

And I am worrying about things I shouldn't be worrying about.

sumfink is wrong with my blog.

2007-02-01T22:52:00.000+08:00

You won't probably see this. :)) But somfing is wrong with my blog. It sucks.

---

Anyways, I feel real stupid today. Nothing bad actually happened--none that I know of... but I don't know... I just feel really awful.. Goodbye superman. Do you remember that? Wow. So many things have happened. And here's summer again. It's almost been a year.

Many things around me happen for a certain reason. A reason I would really want to know.

dreams

2007-01-29T20:46:00.000+08:00

Haha. I made my post to my grandlola on draft. Such a great woman doesn't deserve a lousy post like that. (:

---

I have been having dreams lately. Dreams that involve numerous different stuff. Things I love, things I hate, things I never imagined I would be dreaming of.

Have you heard of astral dreams? Yes, I'd reckon that you have. If you haven't, then they are dreams that seem so real... You were there, you touched everything, you felt what you should feel. Yes, I've had a lot of those. Yesterday, I woke up crying. I dreamt of my teacher saying something really nice to me that I was so touched that I cried. When I woke up, I was crying, and I wanted to stop. But I couldn't. I really don't know why.

Since I was a kid, I've been dreaming that this angel is carrying me into my bed. I don't know what I was doing, but someone was carrying me to my bed. I felt their hands. I also remember this one dream that I fell from the railings in SM Southmall.

Now what's bothering me, is that I have no clue what these dreams mean. Yeah sure, feed me a dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep...in dreams you will lose your heartaches. Yeah right. In dreams you will lose your heartaches?

Well yes, maybe I shouldn't be bothering to bother about these things. But they keep on happening. And they kind of freak me out. I've never dreamt so much before. Never dreamt of things, people that I actually would want to dream about.

Now what do my dreams mean?

annoyed.

2007-01-24T18:53:00.000+08:00

I didn't go to school today, I went to visit my lola's wake. She just died last Monday, at exactly 7.30 p.m., due to organ failure which was due to her breast cancer. We went there, stayed for a while, talked to some relatives, and bummed around at dad's. After that, we went to Makati to buy fake CDs and DVDs (Edu Manzano must never read this. ((: ). I'm getting really into anime stuff right now. I read mangas before, and I would always switch to Animax whenever I could. Oh, and how about those weekday afternoons watching Ranma 1/2 in Animax before?! Ah well, I bet anime would be here to stay... I like the cutesy kind of animes though. You know, like...uhm... Tsuyo Kiss?! Come on you know what I mean.

So after Makati, we went to Market Market because mum still had a meeting. We had a small amount of money (we spent them on takeouts and the dbd dbd) left and we had to waste time till mom gets the chance to get out of the meeting. She gave us bucks again, and we went back to Market-Market again. Chiara and I split ways, she went with our family driver, Manong Tinoy.

I just went around Market Market, scouting for clothes, when I went across Petit Monde.

Saleslady: Miss, itong dress oh bagay sainyo

Bkee : Sige, I'll go back for it next time

Saleslady: Miss, pants lang?

Bkee: *flashes that oh-so (NOT) dazzling smile of hers*

Saleslady: Sige na mam, card niyo na lang...

Bkee : *snicker snicker*

Wow. Do I actually look like I would have a credit card with me?! I look seriously THAT old?! Or I look THAT mature?! Do I look rich enough to carry a credit card?! Now, I don't know if I'd be happy or what. Hehe.

After market, we went back to get mum, and we went home.

I cannot wait to go shopping again.

Since when did I itch to go shopping? Something's wrong with me. (:

you got a long way to go... (:

2007-01-20T21:58:00.000+08:00

I have a post that's on draft, I'd be posting it when the pictures are already transferred and edited. I made a new layout for Hazel. You can click her name to check it out. I honestly think it's nicer than my layout. Haha. I made it, though. And she was right beside me when I was doing it.

--hazel's layout--

-- angeli's supposed-to-be layout --

I also made one for Angeli, but she doesn't have a blog yet. Hahah. But this is going to be her layout when she gets to start one. (: Hers is lovely too. Lovelier than mine. But I intend to keep my layout low-key. Hahah. She was also beside me when I made her layout.

Anyways, I had a pretty interesting week. But this week has left me in such a wreck, I brought no books and whatever stuff home to do my homework. Really. I feel so wrecked, I just decided on doing my homework while at school, early.

Here's my week in a dash:

Monday:

Had regular classes, except for the fact that we had a Spelling Bee. I did no studying. Absolutely. Except for one quiz off the net, which tested you on the most commonly misspelled words. Surprisingly, I got 2nd place. Yey me! Celine got first place, congratulations! And then JP's brother got third place. I was really surprised that I won. I mean come on. You're battling against people older than you.

Tuesday:

Did not have regular classes. We, the propsmen of our play, were out the whole day due to preparations for the play. The other students had a batch practice for the cheering competition. The Seniors bagged all the awards. I didn't mind, though. I was "confessing" (as Johan puts it) to Ms. Sharon. Confession ba yun? Naguusap lang kami. Hahahahah!

Wednesday:

No classes at all. Seniors had a NCAE or something like that. Went to ATC with Hazel and Angeli. Wow, we saw someone ATC. He's haunting me. No, I didn't see him. But I did see someone who's somewhat related to him. Scary scary scary. (:

Thursday:

Batch practice the whole day. Well, the rest of the students, at least. We were asked to make pompoms. Now here's something you have to understand:

we don't know how to make pompoms
we don't have enough material
we didn't receive clear instructions on how miss wanted it to appear

I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY MAKING DAMN POMPOMS. Dear Gott in himmel. It was really tiring. I didn't know pompoms caused so much effort to make.

Friday:

They didn't even use the damn pompoms during the cheerleading competition. Frustrating, really. I didn't think they gave credit to how much effort we put into making them. Akala nila pasarap lang kami dun sa gilid, gumagawa ng pompom. I don't know how to put it, but it was a pain in the ass, back, arms...the whole body.

Seniors bagged almost everything, except the best costume, which the Juniors got. I honestly thought the Sophomores were good. I don't know why they didn't win against the Juniors. Lifteeeerr! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. (: Anyways, it was a great day. Really funny. Talong and saging. It was fun wasting time with friends. Most of my friends are planning to join the cheering squad of our batch next year. I know they'd make it. Sila pa. While I, on the other hand, might try my hand on ehrr..."musical instruments" (which one?! HUH?! (:/) or maybe just do the props. Or Music. Or whatever. I just NEED something to take my mind off certain stuff. However, if and when I lose weight during the summer, I seriously might consider being a cheerdancer.

Nahh, ang asim. Hahahaha. I'll just deal with the "musical instruments".

Actually, most of them are going to take dance lessons at STOMP. I told my mom about it and she made me choose: soccer or stomp?

I chose soccer. HAHAHA. (:

Anyways, Hazel and Angeli came over our house. Grabe, time flies fast when you have fun. I love you both. Pati dun sa mga hindi nakapunta, Barbie, Angelique. Lab you too. Hahah.

Go saging + talong!

...and that was my week. Supposedly, in a dash. (:

P.S. guys: talong+sugpo=sinigang?!

introspect.

2007-01-16T19:36:00.000+08:00

I feel fear, anxiety, and oddly, some sort of happiness and excitement. Probably excitement of what I'm going to try out; happy because I've finally figured things out. But you have to give the kid the benefit of the doubt, you'll never really know what's going on his mind.

The answer to most of my questions are practically lying everywhere, I've just remained blind to them. Books that I've read, people I've talked to. I hate it. I hate the fact that the solution to my agony is just lying there...

I learned so much today. Scratch that. Realized so much today. Realized things I already knew.

Ironically, these realizations had something to do with the movie A Walk to Remember.

Tell you what, I really don't like that movie. Yeah I know. Throw vegetables at me. I like romance and comedy, but I can't understand why I don't like it. It's a pretty cool movie, a lot of people I know like it. Maybe because it deals with death. Never been good with death. Maybe that's that.

And to clue you in to what I realized, read these:

Landon: Listen, Jamie, I was hoping we could run lines together?
Jamie: Okay, but just not so anybody knows, right?
Landon: Well I just figured we could surprise everyone with how good I get.
Jamie: Like we could be secret friends.
Landon: Exactly, exactly it's like you're reading my mind.
Jamie: Great umm... maybe you could read mine.
[she gives him a cold glare and turns away]
Landon: Jamie, Jamie I can't just be your friend.
Jamie: Landon, look, I thought I saw something in you, something good, but I was very wrong.

--------------------

*update/

Good thing I talked to our guidance counselor. Atleast now she told me what I needed to know. What I needed to ask. What I needed to DO. What I thought I knew was nothing compared to what was real.

I was living in my fantasy. He might have been all I wanted. But want is nothing compared to need. I may want a MacBook laptop, but I need food to live. Which is more important? The MacBook or food? Do you get my point?

Oo. Siguro nga he's everything I wanted.

But what, he's playing with me. Go straight man. Damn straight. Cut the chase.

But I know you won't.

I need to do something.

I always thought that I was OK about myself. Sure, I was OK about how I looked. But I allowed him to treat me unfairly. What, he was ashamed of me being his friend? Because of what? Because I wear glasses AND braces? Because I'm a geek? WHAT?! I don't understand.

And that, is exactly what I have to find out.

Am I even his friend? Give me real friendship, man. Sometimes I forget about myself already.

Something's wrong with me.

I am definitely NOT ok with myself.

Hahah. And now what, I've become really dim.

'cause i'm the one that loves you lately.

2007-01-12T20:29:00.000+08:00

Oeeehrr. I'm sensing something right now. From you. Ahhhh I love this feeling. Hahah. The feeling of maybe-but-maybe-not. If you get my point.

Anyways. A survey that should be posted 11 days ago, but I was in Boracay.

-----------------*
What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
Well, I went to London, Punta Fuego, and went to so many places. More places than I’ve been to.

Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I know I kept some. Of course, I’ll definitely make more for next year.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope. =)

Did anyone close to you die?
Fortunately, no.

What countries did you visit?
Englaaand. And...UAE... But that was just a stopover. Haha!

What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Lovelife. Just kidding. More drive. More passion. Knowing what to do. MONEY!. =p Kidding. More clothes. More time to myself.

What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I don’t know. Probably June 5. Why? That was the start when I couldn’t eat anything for a week.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting something I wanted.

What was your biggest failure?
Haha. Don’t ask.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Well, nothing serious.

What was the best thing you bought?
the portable iPod charger. Darn useful. =))

Whose behavior merited celebration?
Vicky.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Vicky. Haha!

Where did most of your money go?
Food. and Clothes. and some stuff.

I don’t even have much money to spend, to start from.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Getting the new iPod Nano. Haha. Havaianas. Clothes. I’m more into clothes this year compared to the previous years.

What song(s) will always remind you of 2006?
I Caught Fire – the Used, When You Were Young – The Killers, The Ghost of You – My Chemical Romance, Down on my Head - Yellowcard

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? – happier, I guess.
ii. thinner or fatter? – HAHA. thinner?
iii. richer or poorer? – richer. =p HAHA.

What do you wish you'd done more?
Sports.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Eating. Haha.

How many one-night stands?
Secret. Kidding. Of course wala!

What was your favorite TV program?
Ho-hum... I don’t know. That 70’s Show!

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Let’s see. No. I really don’t hate anyone. =))

What was the best book you read?
Chick Lit maan. Meg Cabot books + Louise Rennison’s books...also, Bergdorf Blondes by Plum Sykes, and...God I can’t remember them all!

What was your greatest musical discovery?
In 2006? Beats me. Ang dami. Hahah.

What did you want and get?
an iPod nano. Real frriends.

What was your favorite film of this year?
HAPPY FEET! Hahah. Kidding. I saw many films this yearrr! Probably a Good Year, or Just My Luck. Love Actually. =)

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
My birthday? I turned 13, and I spent the day in school. Had dinner over at T.G.I. Fridays.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Lovelife? No. I just need more DRIVE maaaaaan!

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Classy. HAHA. Nah. I dress for comfort. So if you must know, jeans+chucks/havaianas+tank/polo shirt = what I usually wear. But I’m into skirts. You know, flowery girly ones. I have lots of them that I don’t even wear. HAHA!

What kept you sane?
my iPod mini. So long, so long. Hahah. friends. my blog. cleaning! (don’t ask.)

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Aye. No one! hahah. Prolly matteo guidicelli, but then that was in 2005.

What political issue stirred you the most?
the cha-cha issue. it was weird. i don’t know what side i’m supposed to...side. Hahah

Who did you miss?
Awww, I missed a lot of people. Well, they’re just there, but things changed. You know. Kat, Sof...I also missed some close relationships with other people...

Who was the best new person you met?
High school is full of new people. I’m glad all of these new people have been nothing but the best.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
Oh wow. I can’t remember one. Maybe I haven’t learned anything. =(

What was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself:
I’m a good writer. Also, someone said I’m mature. Yeah, and someone also told me that I deserve to be a graphic designer. =)

The most touching experience you've had this year?
Oh.... when I was crying so hard, and my mom just comforted me and asked if I wanted Starbucks, and I said no, and then she asked if I wanted ice cream and I said no, and she asked this and that and I just cried and she just stayed by my side. =)

What did you like most about yourself this year?
The thing that I strive to be a better person everyday—even if it doesn’t show.

What did you hate most about yourself this year?
I cuss a lot. More than ever.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
“Where did i go wrong, I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness. If I would stayed up with you all night, then I’d know how to save a life.” HAHA. Sorry mate, I can’t think of anything.

Was 2006 a good year for you?
Yes, it probably was. An interesting year. A year full of ups and downs.

What was your favorite moment of the year?
Oh, there were a lot. When I went to London, England. Being there was indescribable. I felt so small, so overwhelmed. I didn’t know what to expect.

What was your least favorite moment of the year?
That one time when I cried so much my eyes swelled for 3 days. You know why I cried? I was so damn insecure. HAHAHA. Now, I just laugh about it. But really, it was also a touching moment.

Where were you when 2006 began?
Let us see. Siyempre, in our front yard!

Who were you with?
Mom, sister, Ates... everyone!

Where will you be when 2006 ends?
Borraaccaaay baby!

Who will you be with when 2006 ends?
My mom, my sister and my uncle. And the beeaachh. Boom, baby!

Do you have a new years resolution for 2007?
To have more drive to achieve what I want to achieve. =P Man, shed the weight!

What was your favorite month of 2006?
Ho-hum. January? Haha. Probably the summer months. Ohhh b l i s s.

Did you lose anybody close to you in 2006?
Let’s see... Technically, no. I just imagined they drew farther. Or maybe they did go farther. Oh well.

Did you miss anybody in the past year?
I missed my extended family in East Ham. =)

What was your favorite record from 2006?
Oh wow. Haha. Ang dami!

How many concerts did you see in 2006?
2? Can’t remember. Oh I suck. haha.

Did you drink a lot of alchohol in 2006?
Nope. I don’t drink.

Do a lot of drugs in 2006?
I zoo not zo zrugs. Heheh.

You do anything you are ashamed of this year?
HAHAH. Of course!

How much money did you spend in 2006?
Don’t ask.

What was your proudest moment of 2006?
Being able to prove to myself that I can be me. =)

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2006?
I don’t even want to think of it.

If you could go back in time to any moment of 2006 and change something, what would it be?
I would have gone to London earlier, so I’d have more time to visit places. Also, not to make sayang the lessons and the gym subscription that I had. Tsk tsk.

What are your plans for 2007?
Oh wow. Lose weight, switch blogs, fix my blogs...oh wow.

How are you different now that the year has ended?
I feel a bit older.

What are your wishes for the new year?
Good health and long life! HAHAH. Lose weight lose weight lose weight. Lovelife. Kidding. Ayoko na. Haha.

you gave me a meaning to my life, 'cause i've gone beyond existing...

2007-01-11T21:23:00.000+08:00

...and it all began, when I met you.

HAHA. I love Barbie's new cover of the APO Original.

Today has been pretty cool. Heheh (= I just realized that I think I want to be a lawyer. Or maybe in the advertising business. And a bit of freelance designing. Can journalism be a pre-law? There are still pretty many choices, but atleast I've managed to narrow them down.

...Oh wait, I still want to be a magazine editor.

Thanks to those who dropped by. You made my night. (;

wow.

2007-01-10T20:29:00.000+08:00

...Blue and Yellow by the Used...
*it's on repeat mode.

you'll never find it if you're looking for it...

should have done something but i've done enough, by the way, your hands are shaking, rather waste some time with you.
should have said something, but i've said enough, by the way, your words are fading, rather waste some time with you.

It's really unfair that when I really have something worth writing, I just don't have the time to blog. And then when I finally get to blog, I finally give up on the topic and just blog about something else. To me, it loses its essence, the feelings themselves, when I blog them down at a different time. Walang kwenta narin lang.

Anyways, you know what, I really really love the song Blue & Yellow by The Used. No. Seriously. I don't know, everytime I listen to it...I just feel different. There have been many times that when I just feel so low and sluggish, and then when I listen to it, I just suddenly cry. Which helps. A lot.

On a lighter note, today was, well, a better day for me. Better than yesterday. Yesterday was awful. In fact, this has been an awful week.

Monday.

New seats. Whether to be happy or not, I know not. Hahah. Why would I be unhappy? Right now, I'm seated next to Hazel, on the right; and Angeli, on my left. Still at the back. I was only one seat away from my original seat. Haha. They both talk to me, both really tight pals, but why is there some certain part that's missing something? Oi, oi, ano yan?!

Tuesday.

Hah. If Miss Sharon had bullets, I would have swam then and there in my own pool of blood. Ms. Sharon's our guidance counselor, and our topic were boy and girl relationships. Before that, we were talking about our families. She was telling us that if we had a history of separation of parents, we should be determined to stop the cycle throughout the 4th generation starting from us. You can just imagine the dagger glares that I received. Hahah. But I don't really mind.

Also, I did something really stupid. Hey, you're welcome to tell me if you heard. (:

Now, I don't know what I would rather. When he thought I liked someone else, or now that he knows pretty well that I do still genuinely like him. Wow, I could be a good actress.

Oh, right. Just started Arnis classes in P.E. Daymn. The boys are gonna have futsal! How unfair. I hate them. ):<

Wednesday.

Ha. Ha. I intend to do good this quarter.

rush.

2007-01-05T22:13:00.000+08:00

I'm supposed to make a serious post about some stuff in here. Well not really serious, nothing is really serious in this place. Ahwell.

Time flies fast. Haha. I was supposed to make this post 3 hours ago. Wow. It's 11 already. Next thing I know, I'd be finishing this post by 1.

Wow. I want to say so many things. Ahwell. Might as settle on one.

Anyways, I heard Joey and Miles (on 89.9, every 3 in the afternoon, i think) on the way home from the airport last Wednesday, doing a CD Review on Gwen Stefani's new album, Sweet Escape.

Now I'll tell you what. I graduated from bubblegum pop already (with some occasional exceptions, of course), but I like this album. It doesn't matter if the rhythms and beats do not seem like they've been exerted much effort on, but I like the fact that every song in it is different from the other. That's what I've been looking for lately. I mean some albums may sound good, but they can get tiresome sometimes, 'cause they sound the same. Yep, I'd be defintely buying this album. :-)

be my romeo...

2007-01-04T20:13:00.000+08:00

I see you twist and turn. You look so stupid, happy and numb.

And that was Local God, brought to you by Ever clear.

Hahahaha! Yeah. That song keeps playing in my head (and in the iTunes) whenever I look at him. Or whatever,wherever. He's a happy happy boy. Aww. Well, he did look stupid. And happy. And fortunately, unaware. Hahah. He's so different when in his element. Cute.

Ahwell, anyways. First day of school for the year (atleast for moi)...and well, I didn't really miss a lot. Well I missed a couple of new stuff, but that was it. I hate Ms. Cabaluna. Double periods and we were idle as can be. Well, not really idle. But I think what she asked us to do was a waste of time and energy.

Argh.

Anyways, what can we do about it ba. It's done na naman eh. Haha. :)

Ooh. I'm too lazy to put up the pictures from Boracay in my Multiply. Maybe sometime else. Also, I have pending layouts to do for Kat and Hazel. Help me. It's new year and I really want to finish what I have to finish. What else, yeah, I also have to fix my friendster layout, which is currently using a pre-made Jansport layout. I hate it. No choice.

Ahwell. I still have to do my homework. I'll get back with you guys. Love you, mean it, laterr. :)

nagluluwa na mata ko.

2007-01-03T20:43:00.000+08:00

I feel like my eyes are going to pop out. And I think I left my brain in the plane.

I just came from Bora (!!!!!). And thank you very much to the people who tagged, dropped by and commented. I promise I will return your comments asap. Promise. I just don't have the time.

Wow, I'm tired. hahah. Hassle kasi. Ang daya daya. =(

I'm tired and I'm sick again and I was absent.

So much for the bliss.

I would really be looking forward to any coming breaks, holidays and whatever. Wow. For the first time ever, I would much rather be out of school.

Grabe. I'm tired.

Haaaaaaay...

grabe.

2006-12-26T10:45:00.000+08:00

Tinatamad ako mag'edit ng multiply page ko. Which is rather rare. Kasi usually kapag ganyan ang kailangan ko gawin, I always jump on the challenge. Ngayon, I feel drained. Mabilis nga ang connection ng internet dito, pero mabagal mag'process yung PC. I'd rather dial-up right now. Waah. I miss my mom. I.badly.want.to.go.home.

Anyways, I haven't greeted you guys Merry Christmas! Oh ayan na. Hahah. I only manage to do multiply-hopping. Yun lang. I feel lazy. Grabe sayang ang oras. I still have so many projects to do.

Well, I'm glad to atleast feel like home. Grabe. I don't know what would happen to me kung wala 'tong PC na 'to. And yeah, the people who are texting me right now. You know who you are na.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay. So yesterday was a really really crazy day. I don't think I could hear anything anymore. Kidding. Ang ingay talaga ng mga relos on my father's side. And they know it. Sure thing. One of my lolas even asked me,

Lola Ninang: Hindi ganito sa mother's side niyo no?
Ako: *nod*
Lola Ninang: Prim and proper kasi sila eh...

Well, hindi naman prim and proper...pero ganon tlaga sa mother's side. Siguro, that's why I enjoy them more. Plus, I'm the eldest sa cousins on the mother's side. Hahah. They ALL stay in London naman. Daya. I miss them, Matty and Gaia. Hahah.

Pero I appreciate them, I really do. They're a fun and noisy bunch. THEY'RE A BIG FAMILY, what can I say. 10 siblings sila lola! Sila mommy, the extended family is big din, but it's diff talaga.

And then the lolas and lolos were telling me about their stories when they were kids. How they would work, how the would do this, that. It was fun listening to them. Ako ngiti, nod, smile, nod...hanggang dun lang. Nahiya. San ka. Now that was when I showed a side na super-shy, super-quiet. They identified me with my mom. That made me miss her more. Awww.

Momma's kid. Yeah. I loobe loobe her. She gave me a new ipod! HAHA. Spoiled little kid. Actually, she gave me a new iPod nano, and then the Love at First Glow by JLo. Grabe, sumigaw talaga ako when I saw the iPod. It was a HUGE surprise! Kasi nga diba she went to the US for a week. Tapos I asked her to buy an iPod for me there... and then when she came back, ako pa nagbukas ng bags niya and stuff, wala talagang iPod! So siyempre my hopes were crushed. Asim. I kept on bugging her to buy me an iPod. And then she said, sige, the next time I go to the US. Pag wala sa mood, sasabihin niya lang, keep it simple, my dear. Favorite line niya yun eh... And then come the opening of gifts, I saw one balot parang may bagay sa loob tapos tinakpan ng special paper. Tapos ang dami daming japanese paper na crumpled. Then when I saw my new baby, I screamed talaga... Wow.

Wala pang songs yung iPod, kasi hindi latest version ng iTunes yung nasa bahay. Wala pa kasi internet. Traffic happens this time of the year eh. Every year yan. So I'm kind of, well, used to it. So...ayun. :D

happy hols!

gladness and laptops.

2006-12-21T11:56:00.000+08:00

Freedom starts...NOW.

I'm actually, verry glaad that we're going to have a Christmas vacation. Which is, well, a first. For me, atleast. I used to love school. I still love school, but I guess I don't look forward to it as much. Before, I'd be damned if I miss a school day. Now I don't even care if I miss a day of school. No wait, I do care. It's just that it's OK for me to miss school, even if I'm not really sick. (insert snicker.haha.)

I'm glad that I'm free from the homework, and quizzes, and the boring lectures. More than glad to be free from the prison called my mind. Who, by the way, is working overtime lately. My head hurts from time to time, but nothing really serious, I guess.

Sigh. I really do wish I always have a laptop with me. Sometimes kasi, strange thoughts and opinions appear in my head... Tapos when I do get the chance to be in front of the computer, biglang nawawala lahat.

Cheers to gladness and laptops.

frustrated.

2006-12-20T20:19:00.000+08:00

Mind you, I lobe it. Haha. It's more faster. And more convenient. Remember I'm still using dial-up. =D

And I'm actually pretty thankful for the new blogger (not beta) hahah, for being not frustrating. Unlike so many things around me.

Say my iPod mini. You know what, I think it's just begging me to take him to the iPod hospital, wherever that is. Or maybe it's just waiting for me to cut its air supply and to send it to iPod heaven. Which will probably be in...hmmm.... iPod hell would be in Japan. They sell iPods in 7-11 outlets. Can you imagine? Hahah.

I am also frustrated with myself. Why can't I be contented with everything? Why am I so burara? Why do I keep on asking questions? Why don't I know how to save money? Why do I have to wear eyeglasses? Why do I have such hairy genes? HAHAHAHAH. I'll shut up.

What else am I frustrated with? (Might as well put them all down. Release. LOL.). Hmmm. Say, the PC. It doesn't have enough space in its hard disk to allow us to install the Sims 2 Holiday Edition. They suck. :(

I was never contented. Why can't I be? Do I really have to crave for so much in my life?

ang asiim.

2006-12-19T19:02:00.000+08:00

Ang asim ng buhay. Talaga. Pinaglalaruan ako ng mga tao at bagay-bagay sa paligid ko. Nakakainis. Ano ba yaan.

Haaay. I can only do nothing but siggh.

Wala na talaga ako magagawa. Bakit ang daya daya noh? Ang daya talaga. You can't live a life that's all so happy. Why can't we all live happy lives? Bakit kelangan ng problema? Oo nga naman, to keep us stronger.

Haay. Sorry hah.

I'm getting pissed off. Really ticked off.

don't.

2006-12-18T15:43:00.000+08:00

You don't go around, assuming certain things without actually being sure. I'm practicing full hypocrisy saying this, but you just don't. Also, on the same note, you don't go around calling someone a bitch, if you're going to be one yourself. I'm sorry. I'm just so angry, I can't help it. I thought this whole thing's okay and settled, and then it reappears.

I don't know why I'm so affected with such a thing naman. Tanga. Hangal. Bobo. Haha. Ang babaw na bagay na aapektuhan ka.

Eh bakit ikaw, naaapektuhan ka rin naman ah.

christmas gift...to my mom. HAHA.

2006-12-16T22:17:00.000+08:00

I just finished posting in my LJ. Haha. Diary ko yun eh. Although some few people may get to access it because they just found it somewhere over the net, no one knows the link to it. Besides me, of course.

Anyways.

I feel like such a wreck. Haha. Yoko na magdrama. Sus. Wala naman mangyayari eh. Mapagtawanan pa ako eh. Hahah. Wala rin naman na id'drama.

Let's be happy. Ok Ok.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If money, power and whatever were no object, this is what I would give to my...
Mom.

Hugh Jackman. Or some saucy, loyal, non-DOM British/French/Italian/EUROPEAN guy. Those who wish to apply may do so. Must love kids. Must have dimples. Must look European. HAHA. Must have loads of moolah. Kidding about the last one.

But really. If you Hugh Jackman were a lot younger, I'd have posters of him up over my ceiling. Hahaha. He's cute naman ah.

all i want for christmas...

2006-12-15T16:42:00.000+08:00

...is you.

Hahah. Kumakanta lang. Tell you what, I think it's a really sweet song.

Anyways, Christmas is getting near na talaga. I haven't even realized it. Haven't even bought gifts for people. I don't feel like giving though. I don't see the logic in giving something in Christmas when it doesn't even feel like Christmas. Yeah, I do agree with Tina's slogan sa blog niya. Christmas is not a date, it is a state of mind. Or something like that.

I want the new MacBook!!! Screeeaam. Rawrr. $1099.

Damn. Look at what it's got! A built-in camera. I'm smitten. Plus it's got iLife, iMovie, GarageBand (to record podcasts) in it. Wow. Now THAT'S a dream. It's got:

13.3-inch glossy display
1.83GHz or 2.0GHz Intel Core 2 Duo
Up to 2GB memory
Up to 200GB hard drive
Built-in iSight camera
Intel Graphics Media Accelerator 950
Slot-loading optical drive
Built-in AirPort Extreme
FireWire 400 and two USB 2.0 ports
Gigabit Ethernet
Bluetooth 2.0+EDR

It's probably got thrice the speed of our PC. I'm smitten.

Now I DO have to give the URL of my blog to my long-lost ninongs and ninangs. Add my Lolo and Uncles in London. =D

nababaliw na yata ako.

2006-12-13T21:44:00.000+08:00

I think I'm going nuts. I feel really weird right now. I'm playing a game with rules I don't know. I'm playing a game with someone I don't even think I know anymore. Grabe, I really don't know what to do. I feel so confused, and even with the nicest, most trustworthy people around me, I still feel so alone. My mind keeps on drifting away. My eyes drift all over the place. My mind's constantly racing. Ang weird talaga ng pakiramdam. I don't like how it feels.

I hate it when things look up, and then they suddenly take a nose dive for the bad.

Nothing's changed in school. Except for the fact that things are going on fast-forward mode, and the next thing I'll probably know is I'll be seating right in front of here, writing something. Probably about how annoyed I am, how fat I'm turning out to be, how in-love I am with someone, no one really knows.

I know the world won't stop for a split second for whatever awful I'm encountering right know. I'd doubt they'd think of it as awful. I'm overreacting, that's what.

nakakainis.

unknown purpose and discontentment.

2006-12-09T23:41:00.000+08:00

To say that I am a discontented person could win as understatement of the year. It reflects in everything I do. Even in my layouts. I keep on switching from one to another. I keep on viewing on it like something's missing.

I've always wanted more. I never knew how to make out of what I have.

Yeah, it's human nature. But what I'm going through right now is...well rather very new.

I don't know what to do with my life. Life-wise, that's very scary. Yeah, sure I want to have a happy family and be married. That's probably what 75% of the people my age are saying. I want to be rich. Everyone wants to be rich. What do I really want? Do I want 4 kids? 2? 1? Who's ideal for me? What course do I want to take? What career track do I plan on choosing? Where will I study?

I feel like I have some purpose that is not yet known to me. I may leave this world without knowing what that purpose is.

I'm scared that I might be losing my faith.

I'm scared of what lies ahead. I might be unprepared for it. I'm scared that I may die without leaving a mark on people's lives. I'm scared of what I'm feeling. I'm going through so many new things without even knowing it.

How am I supposed to prepare for that?

Is the unexpected still unexpected when you expect it?

malay.

2006-12-09T17:45:00.000+08:00

I can't say anything anymore with the security of you not seeing what I write. Haha. Should have kept that in mind while I was starting off. I'm in a shit creek without a paddle. Awful, really. Thing is, other people may or may not have a clue about it. But whether they know it or they don't, they can't do anything. Many people have been trying to convince me out of what I'm doing to myself, but I try battling them. I try to defend myself.

Malay mo hindi ikaw. Malay mo siya. Malay mo ikaw. Ano ba alam ko? Drama? Oo, sure. Hindi naman kasalanan na mag-drama minsan ah. Life needs a little drama sometimes.

The thing is, I've resorted to this blog into telling you how I felt because I had no other way of telling you. Talk to you? Who am I kidding? Text? Betcha won't reply. YM? Ditto.

So where do I go? Here.

nothing and anything.

2006-12-08T21:00:00.000+08:00

I want to write something, but I'm afraid that something will lead to another, and I don't want to go through the whole shit again.

I want to write something else, but I'm scared that others might find it offensive.

Wow, I'm restricted to writing something decent and clean and non-offensive in my blog.

Something's terminally wrong with me.

danton's crib.

2006-12-05T20:30:00.000+08:00

Shewt. Today is hella fun. It'd be one day I would like to happen again. Yeah. You can have LOADS of fun with the most unexpected people, you'd really never know.

Well, we had our Science and English longtests today. Damn. Now I'd really get bad grades. Say Science for example. Pota ang dali nga eh, MALI PA YUNG FORMULA!!! HOW STUPIIIID. With English naman. Super labo. Merong items na hindi kasama sa pointers. I bet Miss would bonus them. Yess. It was really...malabo. Grabe. One part was like, WHAT THE HELL?!

Anyways. We decided on practicing on Danton's house about a couple of days ago. Supposedly, buong cast and crew (hahahahahahahah) pupunta. Eh wala sina Aivi, Josh and Paul. Shewt. Haha. D tuloy maayos yung rundown. Minadali pa, 'cause we were going to watch Love Actually in their ultra-huge flat screen tv. DAAAYMN. Ingget ingget ingget. Shut up. Shut up. HAHA. Pano yan, sa Thursday na yung play. I guess we just have to ask Miss Marcos to reschedule. Madaya rin kasi eh. The other groups would present the following week. That's gonna be unfair. They'd get more practice eh. Yeaaah.

Grabe, laughtrip. Especially when the boys started jumping on the pool. Grabe. Heavy gravitas. Tapos we had a tour of Danton's HUMONGOUS house. No shit pare. Probably has 3 storeys or something. May basement, where their chill out room was located. May bar rin. Andun kami sa chill out room. Supposedly watching Love Actually, unti we all agreed to stay outside and fool around nalang. May attic pa. Ingget ingget ingget.

After the whole damn ordeal, KAIN KAIN. Hahah. Muntik na makuha ni Ziggy yung plate ko ng Palabok. WAHAHAHAh. Kaderder.

After nun, town kami. Gala gala. Grabe mga 6 ehhrr 7 na nun. Laughtrip nga eh. Pero it's not the same without the guys.
Ayun. Pictures nalang. =D Might make this post too long.

more pictures: 'ere

you're just jealous.

2006-12-04T19:16:00.000+08:00

Hahaha. Survived a long, long day full of bad hair and bitches. Woohoo. Bitches. Heeell yeah.

Ehem. Anyways.

So we had our Long Tests today. Oh God I suck ass. HAHAH. But really, binaboy ko lang talaga 'to. I won't be surprised if I get low grades on this one. Ironically, ako pa yung nagbigay ng pointers sa S.S. Ako pa yung baboy na baboy. Pero it's really cool with me. I'd be more frustrated if I get low grades but I tried my best. Haha. I love that thing about me.

Basta, baboy na siya. I swear. Pero you know what, I'm gonna do good this Quarters. I promise. Yun lang naman bumawi sa grades ko the last quarter eh. Good luck nalang this quarter. Kaya pala ang hirap raw ng 3rd quarter. It may be the shortest, but HELL, it's got the hardest lessons. Gipit pa sa time. Aww shewt.

After the LTs, we decided on visiting Cams on Asian Hospital. Haha. We were like, crammed at the back of an Adventure. Funyeta, laughtrip! Hyperness solid. HAHA. Ayun, tawa tawa lang with Janroe, Carl, Renzo, Alex and Princess. Jethro kasi ehh, nasa harap. Too baaad. Haha. Then we bought balloons for Cams, nagaway panga kami kung anong balloon eh. Tapos ayun we went up her room. Tawa tawa, hug hug, usap usap, ganun. Hanggang umalis na sila Carl, Renzo, Alex and the rest of the guys na sumabay dun sa carpool nila Cams. So ayun, naiwan si Ate Kayle Godinez, close friend ni Cams. She was really cool. Makulit. Laughtrip panga eh. Tawa kami ng tawa.

Edi ayun, sadly we had to go home, kasi sasabay kami ni Seyy with Jethro papunta ng ATC. Andun, Seyy and I ate, usap usap, then we moved to Starbucks. Ay shet kain ulet! HAHAHA. EH matagal kami nagusap eh. Hey, talking can be tiring.

And then yun, usap parin kami ni Seyy, and then hinatid ko siya, and then voila, I am here.

Mom's going home already!! YES. HAHAH

Pictures. HAHA. 1st one: Jet and Janroe fooling around with the curtain sa may door. I and supposedly, Sey. And then Jet. Stolen. Ata. :))

pride heals, mehn.

2006-12-03T16:43:00.000+08:00

If she does say something that hurts you, they are only words. They can't hurt you. Pride heals.

Wala ako pinaparinggan. Ay meron pala. Yung mga nagmurahan sa status nung isang araw. Parang aso at cat. Hahahahahahahah. Peace maties.

Read the comic excerpt. Many people don't get what it says, I don't either.

Funnily, though, it makes sense.

WHAT? hahaha.

credits to: Rachel Nabors Check out her comics at www.gurl.com

where did i go wrong, i lost a friend...

2006-12-03T16:28:00.000+08:00

somewhere along in the bitterness. I would have stayed up with you all night, then I'd know how to save a life.

I spent the day with my dad. It's the usual every-other-week thing. Dati every week. Ngayon every other week. Not that I am hugely disappointed. Haha. Ok nga eh. I get to spend Saturdays and Sundays with my mom. Eh kapag si mom kasama, no holds barred. We reach Mall of Asia, Eastwood, Rockwell, Greenbelt! Woosh. That's why I miss her a lot nga eh. We didn't have our every week girl's day out. I'm thrilled that she'd be goin home already. Grabe one week lang siya wala. Hahaha. Oh well, she'd be back by tomorrow night. Yey.

Anyways.

We watched Happy Feet today. Gaaahhhd it's the cutest movie. And one of the funniest. It's not cheesy too, the way animated movies tend to be. Is sooo pani. Bery. There was a part na...ewan ko...I got attached to that part. It was so sad. And in a very unusual way, I really relate to Mumble. Haha. Cute kiddo. Woot. Amen to tap dancing!

chilling with the doods.

2006-12-02T15:59:00.000+08:00

HAH! It's December already (Hello, Vicky, ngayon mo lang napansin?). So hell yeah, I have a new damn layout, or a damn new layout, whichever comes first. I lobe it a lot. :D :D

If only our dial-up (I've said this, and I'll say it again...I'M NOT USING THE PC WITH DSL! If you're wondering why I put up with this, well, I don't know. I just got used to it, it doesn't even bother me anymore.) would speed up, and I can put an mp3 in here. Aww shucks. Oh well. I find it cute anyway. And incredibly girly. Different from the previous i caught fire layout.

Anyways.

Why did I choose pink, and Save Room by John Legend as certain themes for my blog? Ewan. Haha. Just so happens that Save Room has been my LSS last week, and ayon. Since it has landed in my iTunes, it has been the top player among the Recently Added. LOL. Bakit pink? Well, I was listening to Save Room eh tapos a certain image popped in my mind...Eh the one in my header (look up) is the one that popped up. Bagay naman eh. I mean if you listen to the certain John Legend song I'm talking about, it's more of chillax. Eh hallo, what's the girl in the sofa doing? Chilling. and Relaxing. HAHA.

Btw, astig nga eh. 'Cause I don't usually like John Legend's songs. Natawa lang ako dito. Tpos LSS pa.

It was ripped off by raw eh. Sabi nila sa Good Times with MO sa Magic 899. Ohwell.

Hmm, what else? Haha. The girl in my header is defying gravity. Oye.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyways, I was chilling with my doods kanina. My doods...lol. Kapatid ko lang yan. And her guy friend. Guy friend. Not boy friend. But that can also happen. Pero wag. Bata pa yang mga yan. My sister's like, only 10...and her guy friend's like...12 na. Haha. Pero we're all just neighbors for a long time.

They were playing Eureka Seven. Pwetness ang laughtrip nila...

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Tae ng tililing.

WAAAH. LONG TEST NGA PALA SA MONDAY. Potek. I'm wasteeng taym, my dear. I shouldn't be. Hoy. I should keep up with my grades. SAYANG!

Sige.

Tatawa muna kami ni Lia.

everyone's havin a bad bad day.

2006-12-01T21:00:00.000+08:00

Wow. Everyone's like, having a grey cloud over their heads. And to find it ironic that there's a terrible storm coming. Wow. I'm having my expected guilt attack already.

What's wrong with you guys? One day you're this, and the next thing you know you're effing monsters. Explain that.

You had no idea about how she felt eh. Who gave you the right to do that?

lifeline.

2006-11-30T22:26:00.000+08:00

Today has been so full of epiphanies, I don't even know where to start.

First off, is that taking risks are the coolest thing to do. I wouldn't say it's the coolest thing, but I highly recommend it. Just don't blame me if you have only so many "sana hindi ko nalang ginawa yun".

Second.

Well...hmm...I just realized that I really want something that I can work hard for, and that everything given to me, homework or whatever, I should do great in. Ewan ko kung bakit ganitong klaseng epiphany ang nakuha ko from the TV show The Hills* in MTV. HAHA. Ang labo nga eh. But get this, Lauren, the main character gets an internship in Teen Vogue. Ako naman, parang, that's what I really, really, BADLY want to do. Alam mo yun... Kaya nga the next time an opportunity comes up, I therefore should seize it. Bibihira eh. Baka pagsisihan ko pa. So, Candy, if you're looking for writers, EHEM! hahaha. Nah, just kidding.

Third.

Well, I have only changed so much. Hindi ko lang napansin. I was looking through my lifeline, a scrapbook I made for my guidance class in grade 6, and as I looked through it, parang ewan ko, I've been so carefree. Maybe it's time to have a more serious take in my life. Pero I was amazed hah. I found it cool, and it's something I really do treasure. I'm thinking nga eh, why not make a scrapbook on being 13? Really. I mean I probably won't forget this time of my life. The time when I made mistakes I would live to regret--and that's not bad. Haha!

Lastly.

Friends are still friends wherever they are. You know who you are. Distance tests friendships, but with YM and MSN and stuff, distance is nothing but numbers. I love you, Kat and Sof! :)

====

*The Hills: I'm kind of bothered about how it ended. Lauren chose her boyfriend over an internship in Paris. It's not stupid...pero I don't get it. I know someday I would. :)

kat and i. :D yey me! :)

and that felt fuckin good.

2006-11-30T13:39:00.000+08:00

painful, still fucking good though. yeah.

ano ba alam mo?

2006-11-30T13:32:00.001+08:00

ano ba alam mo?

POINTERS SA SS

2006-11-30T11:05:00.000+08:00

Students ni Ms. Teodoro na walang pointers...ito na:

Pingkian
Vibora
Emilio Jacinto
Agapito Bagumbayan
Kalipulako
Taga-ilog
Jomapa
Dimasalang
Dimas-ilaw
Plaridel
La Solidaridad
Fr. Jose Rodriguez
Caiingat Kayo
La Liga Filipina
Marcelo H. del Pilar
Kawal
Bayani
kartilla
anak ng bayan

Study; Chapters 10 and 11

>> Credits to Sarah! I lab you.

o2jam,shit,fire drill and balls.

2006-11-29T20:14:00.000+08:00

*update //

OMFG my eyes are like going to pop out. Wow. O2jam's like, really addictive. That's what's been preoccupying me. hahaha! LOL.

Anyways.

Firedrill. We had a fire drill awhile ago. Real fun stuff. Ms. Escamillas, our P.A.-Food Technology teacher won't let us go because she's teaching us about where to put damn spoons after eating. Hahah. Napagalitan raw ni Sir Manaog. Awts...

About balls. Haha. Wag nalang. Baka ma'ban ako. LOL. Hahaha. Chaka baka may lalong magalit ehem.

I hate it when people think they're all "that". I swear. Someone likes them and they're like, "whoosh i'm hot get out". And then they play with the girls.

Wow. Bang. May natatamaan. Dapat lang. Naiinis ka sakin? Dapat lang. Naiirita ka na? Dapat lang. Pagsasabihan mo na ako? Dapat lang! Potangina may pakialam ka ba? Hindi mo alam eh! Uulitin ko ginawa ni Ian sayo.

Don't be such a an ass and wonder why I'm acting this way. Why I want to irritate your ass out, why I want you to get pissed off with me.

Because come on, you do have to know why.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
sinasabi mo lang naman yan eh so i you would get rid of me.

fuck you asshole.

damn straight.

update later. sorry for the rage. i'll be playing o2jam. level 8! hahah. hey, i just started last monday! :-P

way.

2006-11-26T21:03:00.000+08:00

I want to write something here, but I can't seem to tap it all in. When I want to write about something, I usually go on and say something.

Something's missing.

I was supposed to talk about how I stayed up until 6 in the morning awhile ago, or how cute as magkuya I saw Piolo and Sam while guesting at the Sharon Cuneta show. I was also about to talk about how scared I am for Panky for being nominated.

I don't know. Whenever I start speaking of these things, they don't feel right. I want to say something here but...I don't even know what.

And one more thing I noticed, the comments totally went nil on me when I put the cbox again. Hmmm. what to doo...Comment please, they make me happy. Hahaha.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There, I seem to be in condition already. Look oh, they're having the Miss Earth televise. Hahaha. Kakainggit. Rocking body, Ms. Venezuela! Who I want to win? I don't know.

oo.

2006-11-25T22:23:00.000+08:00

Anyways, as I was going to ATC with my mom, I was listening to this song. I was supposed to put this on weeks ago, but I forgot. :)

ito na. props to up dharma down.

bear.

hindi mo lang alam naiisip kita
baka sakali nga maisip mo ako
hindi mo lang alam hanggang sa gabi
inaasam makita kang muli

nagtapos ang lahat sa di inaahasahang
panahon at ngayon akoy iyong iniwan
luhaan, sugatan, d mapakinabangan
sana'y nagtanong ka lang kung d mo lang alam
sana'y nagtanong ka lang kung d mo lang alam

ako'y iyong nasakatan
baka sakaling lang maisip mo naman
hindi mo lang alam kay tagal na panahon
ako'y nandrito parin hanggang ngayon para sayo

lumipas man ang araw na ubod ng saya
hindi parin nagbabago ang aking pagsinta
kung ako'y nagkasala patawd na sana
ang puso kong hangal ngayon lang nagmahal

wooh, hindi mo lang alm akoy iyong nasaktan
o baka sakaling ngang maisip mo naman
puro siya na lang... sana'y ako naman
hindi mo lang alam ikay minamasdan
sna'y iyong mamalayan
hindi mo lang alam hindi mo alam

kahit tayo'y mgkaibigan lang
bumabalik lhat sa tuwing nakukulitan
bka sakali lng maisip mo naman
akoy nandito lng hnd mo lng alm
matalino ka naman

kung ikaw at ako ay tunay na bigo
sa laro na ito ay dpat bang sumuko
sana'y d ka na lang pala aking nakilala
kung alam ko lng ako'y iyong mssktan
narito, sana'y nakinig na lang ako sa nanay ko

hindi mo lang alam akoy iyong nasaktan
o baka sakaling ngang maisip mo naman
puro siya na lang.. sana'y ako naman
hindi mo lang alam ika'y minamasdan
sana'y iyong mamalayan
hindi mo lang alam ohhh

malas mo
ikaw ang natipuhan ko
hindi mo lang alam ako'y iyong nasaktan

god save vicky.

2006-11-25T21:12:00.000+08:00

I would like to thank God for giving me a sign that I shouldn't IM him. I might end up saying something stupid pa. Kung ayaw, wag na. I was thinking kasi kanina, while reading the December issue of StarStudio (ganyan ang walang magawa)...aba reinvention. Ako nga rin. Let's start sa buhay-puso. Tama ba naman yun. Buhay-puso=Lovelife. HAHAH.

So yeah, I am trying to fix the rut that I am in. To start off all things, I would try to open all forms of communication. IM, text (well, maybe not now. my line's busted, and my prepaid's got no credits.) and maybe, if I'm lucky, I would have all the guts to talk to him. God save Vicky.

I mean, what do you know. Maybe I'm the one who's making things harder. Also, it's not too late for almost-end-of-the-year life-fix. I need to reasses my priorities.

Oh God, what now. They're asking me to run to SM with our driver, Manong Tinoy because Mom forgot to pick up the jeans that she had altered and the belt that she had fixed. Ha, I won't go. I'm sorry, I won't. They should have asked me awhile ago, when I had nothing to do. And now I'm doing so many stuff, I'm so pissed off when they asked me to do it. Ewan ko nga eh, I suddenly got irritated when they asked me to go. Too bad they didn't insist on me going. Ha ha di hahah. :-p

Anyways, to what I was saying...I need to reasses my priorities, damn straight. Studies should, and would, go first. Then will enter friends, and love. I should also asses myself, I guess. Change what should be changed, or whatever. Be less crabby. As I am. Sunget. HAHAHA.

Would I be able to incalcate (wow man. deep. =)) ) these things into daily basis? There's no telling. But I'd do my best. I promised myself that I will. :)

collapse.

2006-11-25T11:07:00.000+08:00

So, tell me is it right?
To feel like we're only getting smaller
And if we were to find the feeling
But I'm only treading water
We've made a few mistakes, it's not worth it to say
(we all fall for the sound)

'Cause we are the only ones, we will get up
And we are aware, 'cause we've been through it
And we are the only ones, we will carry each other on our own

Believe the sound when the truth will send you falling
You see the lights but your mind isn't open
Now I hear you calling
We've made a few mistakes, it's not worth it to say
(we all fall for the sound)

'Cause we are the only ones, we will get up
And we are aware, 'cause we've been through it
And we are the only ones, we will carry each other on our own

Open your eyes and let all the light in
Open your eyes up a little more
I'm sure it will soon come out

'Cause we are the only ones, we will get up
And we are aware, 'cause we've been through it
And we are the only ones, we will carry each other on our own

Open your eyes and let all the light in
Open your eyes up a little more
I'm sure it will soon come out

Haha. Collapse. Whoy they're gonna have a party over here at our house. 2 weeks ago, they had one. This time, it's for my mom's birthday. It's not a really huge party, just a "cosy gathering". Yeah right. Hahah.

Uy comment naman kayo :D Pleaaasseeee? :D :D

bummed and pissed, and what else?

2006-11-24T21:55:00.000+08:00

This week's been pretty...well, bummer-ish. Hahaha. It's probably a 3 on a scale of 1-5. Nothing extraordinary, just an ok week. We had our getting of cards last Tuesday, and then our convocation last Wednesday. Right, mass last Monday. What else? We cooked, actually. For 2 days. Would have turned out pretty well except for the fact that I don't like liver. Hahaha. Eh what we cooked involved liver. If I ate liver, it would have tasted good.

Why the hell are we talking about liver again?

I was very tired kanina, grabe. When I returned from school, grabe all I could do was slump down on the couch and sleep. I skipped dinner. When I woke up, my head was aching like hell, and the next thing I knew, when I was looking at the mirror sa CR, my eyes were bloodshoot red. I don't know why. I'm just stressed. Pasmado nga ako ngayon eh, and I think it's because of stress. Dati naman 'di ako pasmado.

Grabe, stress? Hahaha. Ok ah.

Bytheway, natatawa ako dun sa post before this. Drama hah. And yeah, mom's gon' leave for the U.S. this Sunday. Birthday niya. WTF?! hahaha. One week lang siya dun. Good. One week,kaya kaya natin 'to?

Kaya yan.

no love, remember?

2006-11-21T21:55:00.000+08:00

Hahah. And since no one would listen to how agonizing my life has become, I will talk to you, my dear blogmates. Alam kong paulit-ulit nalang, pero please, talagang wala akong ibang makausap, except for some special people, about this matter. And somehow, these few people can't talk me out of anything that I'm doing.

I find you as such a gorgeous sight. Girls would drool over your broad shoulders, the body that seems to hide all those ehr...heaviness. And those eyes...I be damned if you fail to capture anyone. Pero kahit man itabi ako sa'yo, or whatever, you seem so distant. I don't know if I'm the one who's creating the gap, or you're the one who's making the distance. After all, you're the one who's making me feel singled out.

Pero alam ko na kung ano mang gusto ko mangyari ay hindi mangyayari.

Because what I want to happen...never happens. I want you to ease up. I want you to be comfortable with me. I want you to consider me as a friend. I want you to comment on this post. See, impossible 'no. It's like wishing for world peace to happen.

Ngayon, parang ayoko na mag-online. Kasi ayaw kong maabutan ka. And I don't want to get the burning sensation of I-wish-I-could-IM-you-but-I-can't. Ayoko na. Ayoko nga pumasok sa school eh. I'm the one who'll be telling you this. I love school. Used to.

But ironically, some things that I want to happen, ACTUALLY happened. And it's got me wishing things never happened. Nung naayos ko na yung isa, everything's back to normal, may bago nanamang problema. This time, more challenging, and a stricter time limit. 4 months. Nung una 6 months eh.

What am I going to do with you? Tingnan mo nga oh, paikot ikot na utak ko. Hindi ko alam kung ano sasabihin.

Wag mawalan ng pag-asa. Give me a break. Eh what if you don't have anything to hold on from the start? Wala kang inaasahan? Pano ka pa? That's what's juggling on my mind right now. Kung ok ba tayo o hindi.

I don't want you to look at me anymore. Because I love every glance that you give me. And that's got me hoping for something to happen. And I don't know why I bother so much about you.

I love you? No. I don't think so. And I don't even want to waste time thinking if I do or I don't. I don't even know what love is. Before, I'd be the first to accept the fact that I love a certain person...even if I really don't. And now that things are going this way, I'd be the first to deny that I don't love you.

There's no love, remember?

P.S. who i am talking about is not who it seems. he's not always the center of my world.

blind item.

2006-11-21T20:02:00.000+08:00

Laro tayo. Hahah. I have a friend. Hindi niya alam na nasasaktan ako sa ginagawa niya. Kasi tuwing kinakausap ko siya about something na nahihirapan na ko, bigla niyang iniiba yung topic. Siguro ginagawa niya yun para hindi ko ako malungkot, pero kaya nga ako lumalapit sakanya para may makausap eh. Siguro ginagawa niya para hindi SIYA malungkot, pero hindi ba parang pagdadamot na ata yun?

Lumalapit ako sa'yo, kasi alam kong maiintindihan mo. Hindi naman sa maiintindihan mo, pero alam kong makikinig ka. Hindi pala. Iba ka narin. Ewan ko lang. Siguro sawa ka na marinig mga problema ko.

Pero bawat oras na ginagawa mo yun, nasasaktan ako. You're one of the few that I've got. Unti-unti ka naring nawawala. Talaga ngang siguro, in the end of the day, you'd end up with no one else but yourself.

Pero kaibigan kita, at mahal na mahal kita. Siguro hindi mo nakikita yun. Hindi kita madalas na nakakausap, or kung ano man, pero mahal kita. Isa ka sa pinaka-malapit sakin. Kaya ko 'to ginagawa para malaman mo mali mo. Andito parin ako pag kailangan mo. Inaantay ko lang yung araw na magtatanong ka kung ok lang ako, kung buhay pa ba.

Sino ka nga ba?

tying neckties. hahahah.

2006-11-20T18:09:00.000+08:00

Mass today. Oo, we were wearing yung mga gala uniform na pinagmumukha kaming...either

a) ilalagay sa kabaong

b) lilipad (ewan ko, sabi ni Hazel eh)

c) katulong mula sa Victorian era.

Tae. Hahah. Tapos Sir Aviles asked us to wear it, like, 3 periods away from the whole thing. Bloody hell, I can't stop saying bloody hell. Haha. I have finally externalized the British in me. LOL. So, yes my dear, if you're going to ask me, NAPAKAINIT, soliiid.

The only good thing about the whole mass ordeal, is that I get to tie neckties! Yeeheesss. Hahahah. I love tying neckties. I don't know why. Hahah. Getting ready for the future, yes? hahahah. But really, really, neckties are vair vair shweet stuff. hahah. I have a new hobby! Bloody hell.

On the other hand, we're going to have our PTC tomorrow. Hahah. I'm the top 6 of our class! I mean really, that was surprising--and not to mention great--news. Dati nga d pa ako umabot sa top eh. I'm like, what 23rd or something? Tpos biglang 6! Bloody hell! Eh alam ko naman na hindi ako ganung kagaling. Siguro I underestimated my powers. Nyahahaha. As in solid, you should have seen my face with the accompanying..."WHAT?!". I was so surprised. I mean, really really surprised. I CAN'T GET OVER IT. Nyahahah.

So while I get over my rank, and some more other stuff...go tie a necktie. wth? hahah.

saturday.

2006-11-18T21:59:00.000+08:00

Hindi naman kaya mag'break down ang PC ko sa dami ng processes na pinaprocess ko? hahaha.

Anyways.

Well, I was out the whole day. We were supposed to have breakfast in Pancake House, Manila Bay, but then everyone was up an hour or two later than the original time. Mom was supposed to meet her college friend, Jackie. Lahat kami pumunta nang inaantok, at ako, gutom. hahah. I was very hungry indeedy. That's why nung pagdating namin duon, order kagad. Jackie was atleast 20 minutes late? I'm not sure. So mom told us in a polite way..."to sod off". Hahahah. Ayun, kami ni Chiara, bummed around. Nung una sa labas, pero we got bored so we went to Starbucks. Hahahah!

Pagkatapos ng 2 oras na nasa Manila bay, we took Tita Jackie to the bus terminal. Eh malas nga naman may parada. Opening ata ng SOGO. Hahahah! OO astig. May mga trak puno ng ninja, may naka black, may naka'red. Ang baduy nung naka'red. Meron din isang trak merong mga sumo wrestler. Shet pare ang astig. Hahaha. Nga lang, wala silang mga geisha. Ironically, yun ang symbol ng kanilang motel chain. Hotel ba Sogo or motel? Ewan.

Ayun, we planned on going to...san pa ba?...Alabang Town Center, so that I could get new jeans. I need.new.jeans.Understatement of the year yan. Plus, I need shirts etc. etc. hahahah! Wala, since I wasn't in the mood to shop (Hala, shopping opportunity na nga wala pa sa mood), I just dropped the whole idea and told mom na manood nalang kami ng Casino Royale. Ayun. We dropped Chiara home, and went back to ATC.

Shet pare, kahit si Daniel Craig ay hindi kasing gwapo compared sa previous James Bonds, darling, he could act! I mean, really. Wala pa kong napapanuod from the previous Bond movies, but I could tell that this one was good. Probably one of the best action movies that I have ever seen. Pero kung tutuusin, I haven't seen much action movies. So come to think of it, It's between Mission Impossible 3 and Casino Royale. Siyempre, hands down, Casino Royale.

Astig talaga yung opening credits. Pare lupet ng graphics! Yesss. Chaka ang ganda ng storyline, wala ako masabi. hahah. Pero of course, it was based on Ian Flemming's book eh, so you really can't blame anyone in that department.

You should watch it. D nga, pramis, it's worth the money. It even convinced me to hunt down all the Bond movies and compare kung sino talaga ang pinaka'Bond-like sa mga Bond boys. Shweet!

damn straight.

2006-11-17T21:30:00.000+08:00

Starting young is starting early on your life--a real life. You should know your priorities--and make sure you're prioritizing on the right things. You have to make sure that you put yourself first, but should not come out to be selfish.

To learn and accomplish this, my dear, is to be one of your greatest achievements in life.

Why do I say so? Because it's for me, it's so hard to do it. I've been raised putting other people first, and then I'm always second. But sweetheart, I don't think it's called loving when you don't even know how to love yourself. Recognizing your worth is a must. I am a hypocrite for saying this, because I can't even do it. But my dear friends, this is probably the best thing I could ever tell you.

Because I don't know how to love myself. And look who's suffering now. Hahahah.

Be damn straight with what you want, and don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. Love you! :)